Ok,I really,want to say,good evening and how are you all doing?Ok,I just did.But for some reason,I just dont feel like doing much of anything,I dont feel like being nice,I know its worng,but,right now,I just dont know what or how I am feeling.I feel stressed,mad,angry,hurt,all of the above,it just all hit me at once and to tell you the truth,I dont know why.I know this is the time to be thankful for so many things and all the blessings in the world.But,for the life of me,dont ask me why all of a sudden,I cant stand to be me.I feel useless,hopeless,feeling like giving up.This isnt me,this isnt who I want to be.I am begining to hate eveything around me.Why am I beinging this all out in the open,I dont know.I am not looking for attention,I am not looking for people telling me,its all going to be ok.Right now,tears are actullay comming down my face.I feel like no one understands me,no one cares.I know I am feeling selfshif.It is worng for me to feel this way,but,I feel it.I feel drained.Well,its a good thing I am seeing my therepyst on Tuesday.Which,I dont have the money,but I will,dont worry.Thats another thing.I worry about so much,about how am I going to pay my bills.sometimes I feel like I need a new atmsfere in life,you all know the word I am trying to say.Maybe I do need a good rest.I hate working the hours I am working,and maybe I mentioned in my earlyer entry that,my boss likes me working thoes hours,because,She can depend on me getting everything done.Its not fair and I think everyone should at least take turns.But She says,I can by in my own,working by myself.I am tried of everything,life in genrel.I am sorry to bringing this all down on you guys.But I just feel I need to get it all out.I dont like myself very much right now.I feel like I am just tottlay burned out.So here I am just venting away,letting it all go.Sometimes,I just wish I wasnt even around.But I am here,and there must be a reason why I am here.I dont even know what that is.Sorry guys.Well,I am turning in.Going to get a goodnight sleep,maybe watch a dvd and do some cards.Have a good night all.Be safe and peace.One more thing,I just dont get it,why She needs me thoes hours,when I have every right in my book to say somehting,oh but Shedpends on me,boo hoo.I am not jsut mad about that,just life in genreal.Goodnight.
4 comments:
AWWW! Girlfriend..don't say your are sorry..and don't feel like you need to explain..every woman who pops in will tell ya we all feel like kicking the dog...but we don't do it...we repress til we stress...it is good to get it all out...now breath...with it all said don't it feel like that a ton of bricks just was released! And everyone here knows you don't have not one mean bone in your body..we all get frustrated..that is normal! ((((((((Hugs)))))))))))) TerryAnn
i used to feel like you because i had an illness i felt worthless and stupid and everything sometimes i still feel like taht but i go to therapy to help with stress and everything and talkin to someone has really changed who i am today.
are you on an anti-depressant???? IT might be a good idea to be on one for at least a little while--sounds like you just need a little help
hang in there ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((amanda))))))))))))
Glad you will be seeing your therapist. Before you can enjoy others and like the world, you need to like yourself. Here is a little something you can try. Every time you pass a mirror, look into it and say " I am a great person, people love me, I am happy" something along those lines. Do it every day especially when you first get up in the morning. It will help.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/
Post a Comment