Confused

Good evening,

                    Hope its a better one for you all than it is me.I thought I would do an entry before I get really,really tired after cleaning out my storage.I must say,I had alot of unwanted stuff in there.lol.But I have alot I saved onto Pb.It took a few days to get rid of em.I am still not done yet.But let me tell you about today.Remember I told you that I was going out with my boyfriend after going out with my Mom.But that never happend,as when I got home,I had a message on the house phone saying they messed up and I was susposed to be working today.SO,I didnt go out with Him,I went stright into work.As I was going into my dspartment,I didnt even see my boyfriend,I always think Hes in the back doing somehting,So He was out front putting up some kind of fruit and His boss was staning with Him.Gary,my boyfriend said hey,were you going and I said,I am going to work.I was in a rush so I just went into work.My boyfriends boss is so nosy and my boyfriend,Gary is so senative.I dont know what is really going to happend tommrow,to be honest,I dont know if I even want to speak to Him right now.He is thinking I dont love Him anymore,I dont apprictea Him anymore,I know,I spelled it worng.He came and said goodbye to me,which He didnt look to happy.He asked me,you dont love me anymore,I am like,if I didnt love you,I wouldnt keep on rining up marriage.And that was the ticker.Let me back up a munite.He calls me at work,jsut as soon as I am finishing up cleaning.It all happend fast when I talked to Him on the phone,no wait,He was like,I pushed Him off and didnt even bother to care about comming over to say hello.I always do,I always come over and say Hi,and when I am in a rush to get to work,He knows.I dont know what really happend on the phone,because it all happend so fast.I have a feeling,it doesnt look good.So may things going through my mind.i think He is a big baby.I love Him,I care about Him and want only the best for Him.But on the phone,He was like,whats the deal,you dont even love me anymore,because of His stupid boss getting into our business,told Gary that was rude of me,when I didnt come over and said hello.Sometimes,I am just in a hurry.I didnt even see Him there,He said thats not true,I saw Him.But I didnt.oh,let me tell you this,this is what I am so upset about.I got to start talking about marriage,I was like,you dont even want to get married.He said,no,I dont want to get married.Than He was like,so,whats going to happend,like its all on me and I have to make a choise.So,I said,I see,I got my answer,than hung up the phone.I dont know what I want to do.Sometimes it takes a day for us to make up.But I just have this feeling,that maybe I kew along,that its not going to work out.I dont know.I dont want to think that.if we happend to take a break or even break up,Hes going to think I take advanaged of Him,because He has helped me so much with alot of things.Between you and I.I am ready to let go to see if He really loves me and would marry me.But He will always throw in my face,you only wanted me for money.I am confsued.I am seriously thinking of just letting it go.But I do love Him.If Hes not ready to settle down and get married,well,were does that lead me?aot of times,wehn we have our spit spats,we are fine the next day,but tommrow I dont.Anyways,I am tired,just want to crawl in bed and go to sleep.Hope you have a good night rest.Be safe and peaceout.