Hi all,
I hope you all is having a good day.I am doing ok here.I did call my Doctor,talk to the Secatary and they usllay have voice mail were I can leave a message,so,I guess now they dont and She wanted to take a message and I didnt want to,so,I did.So,now, am waiting for Him to call me.I am nervous and dont know what to say,I do know what to say,but,I am nervous.I dont want to talk to Him,but,I feel I should and tell Him whats been going on,even if I havent seen Him in a while.I was susposed to see Him the other day,but couldnt,something came up.For now,I am feeling fine.But,I want to tell Him,how,I am feeling.I think He needs to know.Maybe He can give me something to help me relax.I dont know.I am just guessing.I know this was going to happend once again.yes,I admit,I am addicted to pain killers.They make you feel good and maybe I dont know how to live without them.I know I can,I have done it before,even thoe its hard.I wish He would call and I get it over and done with.I hate the feeling of waiting for Him to call.
Can I really do this by myself?Can I really let go?I know I probllay can,but,let me tel you,its hard.Yes,I have done it before.But I dont want to let go.I need to let go.They are not good for me,unless,I am in pain.I do have Chronic pain due to Arthitis,and I do have medicines for that.My whole life needs to change,I need to change it and I dont know how.Thought with the help from the pills would me change my life and I know thats worng.Boy,I am spilling it all out here.Maybe thats a good thing.I am scared.I dont know what to do.I want to lvoe my life,I want to be happy,enjoying life,laughing,being happy and being greatful for what I have.I am,dont get me worng.But with the pills,something just made it easyer,you know?I am a mess,I know,I am.But if you all say I can do this,just dont tell me,that I can,because,I want to hear it,tell me,because,I know I can.Because,I am crying inside now and I dont have no clue what to do.Its a scary feeling.I think I will have to make an app with my regular Doc sometime next week.If you all have any ideas,let me know.I am still waiting for Him to call.I will let you all know what happends.Thank you all so much.I love you all so much.Be safe and warm.Peaceout.
4 comments:
Ask him if there is a support group that you can go to-it helps to talk with people who are going or have gone through this.Even if you don't want to talk-it's OK to just listen and know YOU aren't the only one........
~c~
Amanda...you need to get some support you can not do this alone..I have a friend she goes it alone and it is not working. Her whole life changed she is not the person I knew. she is wasting away..every time you come close to popping a pill for a feel you need to come back to this entry and remind yourself you have hit bottom...you need counciling as well....Do Make Your Doctor refer you somewhere where your insurance will cover it or where there is treatment else where. He will get you on the right path...Be honest with him...Good luck and am praying for you! Hugs,TerryAnn
You need to talk to the doctor. Good Luck.
Missie
I do hope that you can talk to the doc. Have you ever checked out your local health food store? They have all natural mood drugs.
Kelli
http://journals.aol.com/kamdghwmw/noonmom
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