Saturday, September 23, 2006

There shall be peace

Hope everyone is having a good time,

Sat.I am doing better than yesterday.I know my Mom only wants whats best for me and She wants to see me happy.But I do have to say,that I feel I am always saying sorry,because,I am always in the worng and Shes not,I hope I am sounding as the bad person,because,I dont want to sound bad.I know,we both said some things yesterday that we know we both didnt mean them.I lvoe my Mom.She is always there for us kids.She feels that my boyfriend should marry me,I mean,after all,we been together for so long,about 6 or 7 years.I know  She means well and I dont know how to deal with Her sometimes.I know we both get under eachothers nerves.lol.I do have a good boyfriend and I know He wasnt going to hurt himself.I do wory about Him.I was thinking maybe I will sit down,write Him a long letter and tell Him how I feel,but,I will mail the letter to His house or should I just give it to Him?I want things out of my life,if He doesnt want to get married,well,than,I dont know,or you all know what I am thinking,just dont want to say it outloud.I know He is scared,ofcourse,marriage is a big step.But I want Him to know,I want more things out in life,that He doesnt understand and I thought that I have tryed to make Him understand,but,guess,that didnt get through to Him.So,thats why I was thinking maybe I should write the letter and mail it to His house.I am better at writing things down,than,talking face to face.He doesnt know what my Mom wants for me,or maybe He does.I think He needs to know,than,maybe He can understand better.He doesnt know how to act around my Mom and I can understand that.lol.I do know that if She got help by the doctors,She could use something to help calm Her nerves down.But I also know,She always says,She has the Lord to help Her through.That is the truth.God is always there even thoe,most of the time,I feel as thoe He isnt.So there you have it.Any advice,I would be happy to hear them.I thank you all soooooooooo much for just being there for me,helping me through it all.You all mean so much to me.I never even relized there was good people in this world of internetof J-land.I love you all,each and everyone of you,you all know who you are.Have a good Sat.Peaceout.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Two things you can count on...your Mom and God...at least that is my feeling...I see you feel the same way.  We have our faults, meaning being a Mom, no one is perfect...but we try hard to look after our young.  Love you Amanda...hope your Sunday is the best!!
Hugs,
Joyce

Anonymous said...

if you are going to write him a letter--be careful of what you say in it--because words can't be taken back,

personally I think you should just talk to him face to face