Dont know what the outcome will be,let u all know tommrow

Hi all,

      How is everyone?Good I hope.Me,I really dont know how I am feeling at the moment.But,before I start talking about that,I just wanted to add,I did take a baby step today,wasnt much of one.lol.But its something,I guess.lol.I sat outside on our nice swinging chair,for a while,it was a really nice day just to sit ouside and I was making some beaded jewrley for my Sisters Sunday school class.She does so much for Her girls,and let me tell you,She has alot of girls in Her Sunday School class,The girls dont get muchmso my sister does what She can.She has this big table set up at church for them,with drinks,chips and other stuff,little kids prizes for them to.Every year they have this big thing going on in Oct,so,I was thinking I will do that for my Sister,I did it a copule years back.Maybe yal can tell me what colors little gilrs would like?I will try and make braclets,but,they have tiny little hands,so,dont know about that.lol.And I want to make the neckless big enough so they can just slip it on and off.Ok,enough about the good stuff.lol.The bad stuff is,boyfriend and I had a little tiff,o what ever you want to call it.I just dont know anymore.If this all falls out into a break up,I dont know.First of all,ok,it may sound stupid,not its not stupid,He caught me when I was taking a nap,sleeping and I answer the phone,He didnt even say hello or nothing,just that He couldnt pick me up in the moring and take me to work,because,now He has to go in at 4 and I go in at 6.He said He is probllay going in at 6,I like it when He takes me,so,I dont have to get my Dad up in the moring.But now,I dont know anymore.He woke me up,thought I was crying,when He told me He couldnt pick me up,and I couldnt even get a word in,before He hung the phone up on.Boy,He better not call me,cause,I think I will just go off.Or He would say,lets take a break,and I will be ok,lets take a break.He doesnt even want to get married.I bring it up,not all the time,but,I do bring it up.I know He has helped me so much.But,I am just tired.I cant deal with it.I know this is stupid.I text message Him,I did tell Him,I loved Him,but,I didnt want to talk to Him.So,He is mad.Now,I am sitting here,thinking,I have alot to think about.You guys just dont know.lol.Maybe God is trying to tell me something.I know one thing,if this blows up,Ok,new updat,before I get interupted,my sister calls,than,my boyfriend calls,we get into it.We say words.So,now its nothing,dont even know what it is.He calls me slefshi,I am a bratt and that I dont even care.Well,I can say words,I can really say some words,that I want to say to Him.I am sitting here tears down my face.So at that noe,I am just going to leave it like this for now.I can tell He has been drinking,He doesnt drink alot and I know Hes had a relly long day.But I really think due to this mate,God is trying to tell me somehting.Maybe I am not happy.Well,I am going to end this now.I think I am just going to turn in early.Hope you all have a nice night.I do love you all.Much love,hugs and kisses.Peaceout.