I feel like I am this horable person

Hi all,

     I need someone to talk to or someone to give me advice.I am about to loose my mind and just scream at the top of my lungs.Dont get me worng,I love my Mom very much,but,to the point in time,I think,maybe were getting at eachothers throats.I dont know what to do anymore.I try being there for Her,She thinks I have my onw life,and I am nver there for HEr.What about my Sister,I feel like She needs to depend on my for everything.I never get a moment to myself.I am not saying Shes a bad Mother,Shes a great Mom,but,she doesnt get me and I dont think I get Her.The litlest things just sets Her off.She was telling me about something if I go to the stoor,She has a rufund for something,and I said,I dont know if I am going to the stoor,than She just rips it up and gets mad.She said,you never listen to me,you always speak beafore I can say something,when I say,I dont know when I am going to the stoor.we both got mad,She went to Her room,I said,I thought you was going to give them to my sister.The next thing happend,all I said was,you never listen to me,I feel She dosnt.She thinks,I am never there for Her.Shes always saying,I have my own life.What about everyone in my family.I feel like I am the only one who has to stop everything and be with my Mom.She doesnt even want me going on vaction with my boyfriend,because,we are staying in the same hotell room.We always do this every year.About the same time,tropical storms come in and Shes hoping one will come in and we wont go.I just dont get it.I cant win.I am at falt with everything.I feel like I am a no good daughter.Here,I am,with tears running down my face.She stresses me out so much.What is She going to do when one day comes,that,I am not living in this house,that maybe,I have my own life?Dont rather i should make this private or what.But I have had enough.I woke up early everyday on my day off,just to see what She wants to do.Yesterday,today.She is always saying,She never does anything worng,that its my falt,She doesnt say thoes words,but,She does say,I am always worng.I just feel like crawling under a rock and nver comming out.I feel I am always the one who has to say sorry first,than She just looks at me and doesnt say anything.Than when we do something together,She trys and explain things to me.I am tired of it.Look,you guys,I am really not saying,She isnt bad.I love my Mom so much and want to be there for Her and do things with Her.But,man,it is feeling like wlaking around egg shells here at my house.I tell you,I can come out with it all,right here and right now.Maybe I will.I just dont know what to do.i feel,maybe if She had a good doctor to go to,someone to talk to,get the right meds to help make Her feel better,I think it would make a world of diffrence.I dont want anyone thinking I am a bad person.I think it is just because,hours been cut really bad,I am home most of the time.I dont know.I feel thoe,at times,and maybe I shouldnt mention this.My Mom watches my Sisters kids every Sat,becauae my sister gos visiting for church.My Mom,always make sure they get what they need,so,who has to get it?Me,I have to.I feel like,times,I wish I never worked at a groicer stoor.She said this moring,that she has no one,I have someone who I can depend on.I try to be there for Her,than She is like,why dont you just try ever listn to me.Why not listen to me?What am I susposed to do?I dont know.But,when ever I do something for church and I dont even go,which She gives me a hard time about tat to,She has no problem with me doing somehting for church.Now,I feel like,I am this bad person,saying all this stuff and everyone is going to look down at me.Thats why I never can relax,never have a day were I can just sleep in.I am just going to leave it at this.Because,I feel rotton,horbile,person.Theres alot of tension in the house right now,just Her and I.Well,I guess,I am all on my own now.I know,maybe this to shall pass.Well,I dont feel like it will ever pass.That sums it up.I am going to leave my cell phone number and if you all get this,you can text message me and let me know.I will be going out with my boyfriend in a little bit.I will email some of yal and leave my cell with you.Not here in my journal.Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to me.I really do love you guys.You all Mothers knows whats best and the right thing to say.I need help!!!!!!!!!!Have a good day.