Thank you sticking with me.lol.

Hi all,

      GOod evening to you all,hope you are all having a good one.My evening is a better one.I want to say thank you to Nightmaremom whos been helping me out so much with sorting out the graffic issus.I feel like I been having issues all over.lol.I will be taking a break from the graffics,but not giving up yet.When I get my mind on somehting and want it to work NOW!!!I get so stressed out.I also feel like this year,kinda been taken a toll on me,dont know why.Maybe,when my blood work gets back to my Doc,He can figure out whats going on.In some ways,I feel like I am changing inside,maybe thats werid,but,I am 34 and I feel so more stressed out than anything and I dont even know why.So,I hope my Doc calls soon.Work isnt helping,its not just about the hours,I am ok,sometimes,and sometimes I would like a break every now and than from working in the evenings.I dont mind it,I dont,not at all,well,it has been geting to me,but,I think what has been geting to me more is,the hours,how long I have been with this company for about 7/8 years,and only been having 4 hours a day and having 3 days off.I think I have way to much time on my hands,and maybe thats why I get stressed out,why I worry so much about everything.I have my shots to think about,thos are not cheap.Arthitis. just wanted to spend a little time here telling you all what is going on and how I been feeling about things.During the Holidays,I know is stressful,not just here in this house,but to everyone.I worry about my Mom,because,the Holidays stresses Her out so much,She worrys that She wont get the grandkids alot of things,that stresses me out.My family over in London,they are having a hard time,my Mom worys about them.When She worrys,I worry and 2 people living in the same house together,and me not working and having 2 days off in a row,takes a tol.lol.I dont want to feel like a pitty party.BUt right now,even with my boyfriend,I feel I have lost alot of intrest in having fun,relaxing,not just worrying about a thing.I did tell my Doc all that.But I think I just relized so much.Life is passing by me and I dont want it to.I want to have fun,enjoy life and be happy.Yes,I still strugle with what happyness means to me and in all this stress,doesnt make it easy.lol.I also wanted to say before I get off of here and try and relax.ThatI love all of my J-landers,you all have helped me so much.Right now,feel like tears are just wanting to come down.I never felt the way I am feeling now,its diffrent,dont know if it is making any sences to anyone.I mean,I am 34 and I dont know what to think.How my life should be.So in all of this,I am going to say,I am outttie here for now.I will be back later.De Dsgins has been helping me so much trying to sort the graffic isse out.Who knows,if its not taken care of,someone may have to look at it and take a look at me to.lol.But,I am going to get ogg of here now,go take a hot steaming bath and try and relax.Thank you all,soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo very much.I love you all.Be safe and peaceout.