Still not a good day/evening.So much tension in this house,I can bearly stand it.I feel like everything is my falt,I know I said things that shouldnt have been said,but,She did to.Sometimes,things are just best left unsaid,meaning,just not even talking,which,that was what today was,not talking at all.Shes walking around here,I hate it.I dont know what else to do.I cant just go up to Her and give Her a hug and say I love you,its to hard right now,because,She wouldnt take it.I feel She  thinks I dont care.I dont like going to be angry,or even it being like this.But if I went and said sorry and said I love you,She would be like,you dont mean it,so,I am not going to say anything.Maybe I will write a note before I go to bed,She might not even read that.What bugs me is and I hate to say it.She will never tell my Sister whats going on,today,I think She did.But,it hurts the fact that,I feel as thoe,my Sister comes first.That is worng for me to say and I love my Sis and my family.I am crying inside and I dont know what to do anymore.I am miserable and no one understandw hat I am going through.But,yet,when it comes to Friday,getting payed,and She needs things for Sat and for church,I hate to say it,things are usllay better by than.But I feel like its all my falt,I do everything worng in Her eyes.I know I said some things I wish I could take back.What I said,I probllay have mentioned before earlyer is that,She doesnt help me,but,She was saying things to.And I am the one who has to be the bigger person.Like,She thinks I dont see things,what goes on,or when we argu,its my falt and Dad yells at Her and She gets mad at me and says,Dad doesnt see what I do.I hate it.Yeah,sometimes,I want to die,and not be on this earth.Maybe than She would care.Ok,yes,I know She cares and loves me.I am ok.But it hurts,She doesnt know I am hurting and I know She is hurting.But what else can I do?I and swear if She goes into Her room and slams that dang door one more time.I am going to bust out.So thats it for tonight,I think.Cya later.