Monday, November 12, 2007

Lettinng it all out,part 2.LOL.

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Good moring all,

I hope you all are sleepng well.I wanted to thank you all for leaving your kind,caring words to me.I really needed that.I am relizing I battel with depression,not in a serious big way,but,in a way,it does get me down,like I wrote yesterday in my entry.I thought I was alone.You all help me to see I am not alone,even thoe I feel alone alot of times.Even thoe I have a family who care,a Boyfriend who loves me.I strugle,I know we all do.I been feeling alot lately,setting myself up to high for so many goals I want to get done.I think its all just getting to me.Plus worrying about the Holidays.Even thoe I am takinf meds,somewhat helping,I still find myself here,in this path of depression that I strugle with everyday.

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How do we all get past this?Sometimes I feel like telling my Boyfriend how I honestly feel with my life,I know He knows somewhat of how I feel,but not like this.Its very hard to tell people how I feel.But I need to get it all out.I also feel like,I need a good girlfriend to talk to,hang out with,go a movie or something.But is there someone actullay out there that I can trust,like that?I dont tink I need a shrink.I just need to work this out.My parents are so protective of me,they want to keeo me safe and I feel so locked up.Sometimes I feel like just taking a long wak,but,cant do that around here.Not by myself anyways.So,maybe thats why I stay in this room alot and thats probllay why I get depressed alot.I want to change,not in a big way.I want to do things small.I just dont know how.Yes,this world scares me,it scares me alot.To know what is beyond this point in my life.

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Do I feel lost,yes,but,maybe right now in this life of mine,I am were I am susposed to be at.But than,it just all gets to me.Maybe thats why I feel the way I do,when,I am in my room alot and I dont get out.I think to much,I worry to much and set myself to high for big goals.So maybe I am not nuts.LOL.I know,I am just normal.I do try to find ways of helping me cope through the bad days.But its hard and I know its hard for all of us.I alos feel and know I been so out of touch witht he Lord,getting to know Him and wanting im back in my life.That is hard to.Does it have to do with trusting?When I am like this,dont mind me,I just get to thinking so many things.I will stop here.But I will keep contiue to keep on getting all this out.So it will help me.Help me to move on.Get through my day.Thank you all for listning to me,problay sounds like i am complaining.Thank you all so  much.I do love you all.Be safe and warm out there.Peaceout.

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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Darling these are growing pains, but they will pass and life does go on. Make it has wonderful as you can and be thankful. Try it....

And don't let depression get the best of you. Stay focus, live right and every now & then have some fun. Tyr it...

Brenda

Anonymous said...

I always enjoy your tags...the last one on here with the blond girl looks just like my daughter!  WOW.  

Anyway...even if your a "little" depressed its still depression and you need to talk to someone about it.  You need to find meds that work for you. I hope it all works out and please don't think your not worth the help...you are!  And if your looking for a friend you can usually google the city your from and the word journal after it... a lot of times if anyone around you is writing an online journal it will pop up. Maybe you can meet a good friend that way?!  Good luck!  

Anonymous said...

I hope you do find a galpal.I would love it if you could get out and get a breath of fresh air and giggle over silly things and have someone to share your feelings and secrets with.
I overprotected my kids and when they got out they did things to give me grey hair,just to get even,I think.But ,hopefully you have more sense than that,LOL...
I don't know where to tell you to get a gal friend,obviously not from work-how about church??.....
Good luck ,hon,keep trying to find one though,you do need to have someone besides BF and parents and shrinks....cause all you need is a shoulder to lean on....
**HUGS**
~c~

Anonymous said...

Amanda I hope you feel better real soon. You are in my prayers every night. God bless & hugs, Janie