Good evening all,
I hope you all are having a good one.I need to be honest with you and with myself,why do I keep saying to myself,in my mind,from time to time,often,I hate myself?Why am I saying that?When I know I have a good life?Why?I dont udnerstand it.Should I ask the Doctor that?I keep trying to tell myself,no,I dont hate myself,your a good person.But it doesnt work.Why?I am not depressed to a point were I would hurt myself.I am just depressed.I dont understand it.I felt like everything was going to be ok.But I dont know anymore.
Am I crazy?I am going to sit down in a few munites and write everything down on paper,I really do hate writting it all down.the Doc wanted to know why I write it all down and not just tell Him.Because for one thing,I get nervous.Will things always be this way?Will they get better?I hurt all over,I just want it all to end,to be pain free.To have a good night sleep.Well,I will probllay get back on here before I head to bed.I just wanted to get this out.Maybe this is one reason why I am so stressed and tensed all over.Ok,I will be back later.Be safe and warm out there.Peaceout.
9 comments:
You are depressed and you need to explain to your Dr. how you are truly feeling so he can help you out..if he can't then he needs to direct you to someone that can..keep letting your feelings out in your journal and know that we are all here for you sweet girl...
Lyn
(((((((((((I am-cyber-hugging-you))))))))))))
Ditto Lyn!! Yes...tell him exactly what you tell us here :) I think it will help him/her understand a little more on what you are feeling. the important thing..if you are having feelings of hurting yourself....DON'T let that one go. Tell them right away!
Were here for ya!
I think it may be because you hurt all the time. You seem to have a lot of stress in your life like having to wake your dad up to take you to work. You care about people and do not want to hurt their feelings. When people say things to you that hurts, or don't understand you... you are sad. I feel like it might help if you could understand yourself. You have to work, you hurt all the time, you want to do a lot of things.. but seems you try and try but can't do what you want to do. With your pain, work, depending on others to take you to work and etc.... that makes you limited to what you can get done. Start loving Amanda!! Ok? You are the only one in the world... like you... you are unique. You are what God wanted you to be. You are a good person, care about others, and from what I have read... you are a good dependable person at work. If you can.. start loving Amanda and stop putting yourself down for things that you can not get done. ok? LOL Smile, God loves you and others are commenting on your journal and trying to help you too. Try to be happy with what you are. I put myself down too because I can't get things done like I want... but that is just me. :-) You are in my prayers. Loving you, Janie
Forgot to say.. yes tell your doctor how you feel. Just tell him, "Doctors make me nervous, sorry but they do." I don't think pain makes too many people happy. Pain is not good. Will keep you in my prayers for your pain. Hugs, Janie
{{{HUGS AMANDA}}}
I Know how it feels to be depressed - hang in there - tell your doctor everything (write it down -its easy to forget) - you might need to have your meds adjusted - I am on the same antidepressent you are on -lexapro - and it has needed to be adjusted once or twice for me!
You are a great lady - I hope the stress and pain calm down and you find the right combo of medicine so you aren't in anymore pain!
Love,
Michelle
i hope u find ur happy place
You do need to find that happy place. Sending hugs your way.
Missie
If your open and honest with your doctor he can help you and guide you...just spill it all out to your doctor...get his thoughts...that's what he is trained for, and his advice far out numbers ours. Hope you have a great end to your week...hugs and much love,
Joyce
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