Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Thinkong on what I should do.

Before I start,I am having problems,only problems I am having is the graffics with my names on it,no matter what I do,nothing changes,every pic I try and choose,will stay as bmp,not as gif,which it should be,anyone have any ideas,please let me know.Thanks.

Good moring all,

                 Hope you all is having a good one.I am doing ok here,I guess.Mom is getting dressed and cleaned up to go out with my neice Katie for lunch.When I talked Her,She was like,I know your not going,with your actions last night.I give up,I just feel like everything I do,is worng.But,I am praying about it.She knows today is date night.Duh.lol.Shes leaving at 1,the time She gets home,wont be till probllay after 1,I know my Mom,I know how long She takes.I tryed with Her yesterday.But I will you something and it always ends up like that.By Friday,She is ok,I should even say this,but,only because,I feel as thoe,because I give rent money and I get stuff She needs for the house,food for the kids for Sat.Than,when Monday comes,its all over again.I feel as thoe She doesnt see all that I help out.If I say anything,sit down and talk with Her,She will just get mad at me and wont talk with me and I cant say anything to my Dad.because,She will be even more mad.So,I am just leaving it all in Gods hands.So,like I said,I dont know what to do.I wish I could get my own place,but,right now,I cant afford anything.I dont have many hours at work to susport myself.So,I am just going to leave it as it is.When I saw Mom this moring,after what She said,I didnt seem like I wanted to go out with Her today,I just walked away,not saying anything,wasnt mad,just wlaked away.Sometimes I just feel like going to go stay in a hotel for a few days,just to get away.I know that some people do that.You all know,I love my Mom so much.I guess,with both of us living in the same house together,its a bit to much.Another thing,I couldnt find my cell phone,but,when I did find it,which was in my bed the whole time.lol.I got 2 texts from my Sis.One said,was I working today,the other one said.Love you,I didnt know if you knew that you are aloud to come to church more than 3 times a year.Boy,when I saw that,I didnt know wat to think and still dontknow what to think.I am kida hurt by that.I know She may mean well.But if She is like that,that is not going to get me into church.I try.But I feel like right now,I cant try anymore.Even if I did move out on my own,She will be mad.How are you going to susport yourself,how are you going to get around?She just doesnt want me to move out.I am not trying to just make Her out to be the bad person.But,I cant deal with this anymore.Sometimes,I do want to move out.You all,if you all could say a prayer for   me and my Mom,I would be so thankful.and maybe give me some ideas on what I should do.Thank you all for being there for me,listning to me,giving me nice comments and encourgment.I love you all.Be safe and peaceout.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

hiya mandy     im new to your journal.so i"ll start by saying hello!    i understand totally were your coming from with the problems your having with your mum.the niceness on a friday is very familiar!!!  i ended it by moving in with my boyfriend,at the age of 31 i was disowned for leaving home lol!  looking back now i wish i"d done it sooner,so now im just getting on with my life .my boyfriends family are now like my own.im very lucky.so mandy all i can say is ,just keep going doing what your doing ,life has a way of working things out.you are a good daughter,keep your chin up hun.your not on your own. thinking of you god bless.xjo

Anonymous said...

You need to realize that the only thing you can control is your reactions.  You can't control your mom's behavior--but you can control how much you chose to let it hurt you.

Why not go stay with your bf for a few days?????  You're a grown up and can do what you like.

Anonymous said...

Just a few thoughts.

You choose to live your life, and if you let your Mom choose for you, then you have to realize you are choosing to give her that power.

Sometimes we have to realize that in the end, the only person we are truly accountable to for our actions is ourself; others may love us, but we have to live with our own self every day - are you living for you or for her?

You can only control what YOU do, not what she does.

Hang in there,
Charley
http://journals.aol.com/cdittric77/courage