I have lost it all

I just wanted to add,I think I have lost all my graffics,al my pics through Photobucket!!!!!I am not a happy person right now.All I want to do is quit with everything.I am sorry about venting.But,this has not been my day or my year.But I do love you all.Later.

Not a very happy person right now.

Good moring all,

before I start,I cant get into my Photo Bucket,if I lost all my pics and graffics,I will be so mad.I know what my password is and I try putting it in,it wont let me in.I sent them an email.

I think maybe I should use this color.I am feeling a little blue,I been feeling it,alot lately.Alot has been on my mind.Probllay is why I havent been doing an entry.But I been keeeping up with you guys.My job isnt doing to good,my Mom was like today,She said to me,She almost would rather have me quit.At a time like this,yes,I feel like quiting.They not even giving me enough hours,anyways.It almost seems as if I already have quit.Only working,4 hours a day,3 days a week.We have so many full timmers in there and some part timmers are getting more hours than I am,one who hasnt even been there,I been with the union for almost 7 years now.I know,its because I cant do sevral things.You havent even gave me a try.But,I cant quit,I need my health insurance,that is very important to me.I was so lucky to have it at the time I first started my job there,now they changed it and is very hard to get health insurance at my job.So,I dont know what to do.I am worried,yes,very worried.Let me tell you,there is this one co worker who also has been there after I came along.If they help Her get into doing somehting else.I dont know what I will do.My boss already knows,I am not happy with Her periode.she knows,there is to many full timemrs in there and She wont even work it around were us part timmers can have some hours.Thats what my old boss did.My old boss,She gave me plenty of hours.I jsut dont know what to do.I am a point in time right now,I just want to quit.But I also need to talk to my Union Rep,He works in the Deli,He was going to give me a few hours in there,but,I never see Him.So,I am just going to have to do something and pray about this.It is really upsetting me.Sorry,I am venting again.This hasnt been a good year for me yet.I feel like I am falling apart and I cant get up.My hands still hurt.But,I am not even going to complain,even when I am working.If I fall,I fall.Thats all I am going to say.Thanks for listning.I sure have miss you guys.Maybe I just need some courgment.I dont know.What do you all think I sould do?I am not going to quit anytime soon.Butsomething will be done.I hope you all are doing well and hope you all have a nice day.Be safe,be warm and peaceout.How have yals alerts been?Lately when I add a comment it wouldnt let me,it wouldnt even let me do an entry.My dad is sittting here looking at me to get on.lol.Cya later.

I am still around.

Hi guys,

           I just wanted you all to know,I am still around,just havent been feeling like much writting an entry lately,been reading other entrys,just havent felt like doing mine.I am doing alright.Just have been in some pain with my hands.They hurt really bad.I dont feel like going back to the doctors,but,if it worsens,I will.Thank you all for being there for me.I am getting ready to go out in a little while.I went out with my Mom this moring to Ihop,than to the stoor.all is good here,execpt for my hands and my ear is alot better.I hope you all are doing fine.Have a great day.Be safe and peaceout.

Tracy at Latte Dah

Tracy

OK EVERYONE,

TRACY AT "Latte' Dah" HAS ACCIDENTLY MADE HER JOURNAL PRIVATE.

SO SHE HAS ASKED US TO GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO MAKE  YOU AWARE OF THIS.

ALSO, TRACY SAYS TO GO PUT HER BACK ON YOUR ALERTS.

JUST WANTED, TO DO, WHAT SHE ASKED.

WE DON'T WANT TO MISS HER JOURNAL.

PLEASE, GO THERE MY FRIENDS.

http://journals.aol.com/mrsm711/LatteDah/

HAVE A GOOD TGIF WEEKEND ALL!!!

Hello everyone,

                   I hope you all is having a good start of the weekend.Well,I didnt go to work today,I felt so bad about not going,but,I couldnt work,the way I am feeling now,with my arm and my hand and wrist.I called my boyfriend this moring at work and told Him what happend.I had no idea He went and said something to my Boss.I was kinda upset,because,I was going to go in.I talked to my co worker and She said,dont worry about,just stay home and get some rest.They understood,but,I told them,I felt bad and didnt want to let anyone down and She said,your not letting anyone down.Just take care of yourself.I still feel bad.I am not even going to worry about getting a doctors not for today.Its not like they going to write me up.lol.They usllay do for people who do that alot,but,I hardly ever do that.Besides,I am onlu working 4 hours.So,I am now off,today,tommrow and Sun,most likly,Mon.lol.mom isnt to happy about it,but,what can I do.lol.I think She was mad at my boyfriend for saying something to my Boss.My Mom worrys to much.Mom asked me,they are putting you on for next week?I am like,yes,they,they cant fire me.lol.I will take them to court.I just feel like its something,right after another.But before I go,I want to thank you all for your encourginig words,jjust for being there for me,sending me smiles and hugs all the way.I love you guys!!!Everyone of you.J-land is so special to me,wouldnt no what I would do without having J-land in my life.We are family.I truly belive it.So,to closing this entry,I hope you all will be safe out there and I may not be on as much,I hope not.lol.But this Laptop is sitting in my room.lol.So,it eyes me and says,pick me up,pick me up.lol.I need to stay off of it for a while,due to the fat I think it could be agavating my hand.So,peaceout till later.

Yet,another problem I found tonight.

A quick update,

                 I am doing fine with my ear,they gave me Allegra- 60-120er tab,I am susposed to take 1 tablet one a day.I have 2 refils,so,I guess I have to take all,so it will stop the pain.Its already feeling better,just taken one.But,I have another problem,that I am kinda worried about.First thing,I told my DOc to take a look at my right arm,I guess He said it was ok.But,tonight after getting home from work and  settling down.I notice my hand,it hurts and it is purple,I never saw it like that before,my wrist hurts alot to.Its kinda scaring me,my middle finger is very swolen and purple.Dad told me to call my Doctor,I just saw Him today,I really dont want to have to see Him again.I was trying to call Him,but,Dad said,just wait till tommrow.I couldnt get a hold of there emrgency call.So I gave up.But,just please,say a prayer for me.thank you.My Mom is worried about me to.She said if it gets worse and hurting alot,just come down and tell Her and She will take me to the Er.I really must be a scre up.Al I been doing is just talking about how painful I have been.I cant move my right arm much.Dont know how I am going to get through the night.Stupid Doctor,I told Him and He didnt think much of it!!!Or wasnt paying attention.But I really have toget off of here.I want to try and check my mail,get some alerts done.I just feel like I am a big mess.When Dad saw it,He looked worried to,thats when He said,call my doctor,but couldnt get a hold of Him.Ok,I am hurting,I really need to get off.Thank you so much guys for always being there for me.If I can get through tommrow,maybe it will get better tommrow.After tommrow,I am off and I asked for Sunday off.I really need the rest big time.Be safe and peaceout.Sorry,didnt feel like putting any pics in.Ok,I feel like I am also most feeling no movement,a little bit.

I just had to let it all out,again.I feel like I am a pain.

Hi all,

        I am back from the doctors,man,do they take forever and my poor Dad sitting out there in the truck.He was waiting for me for,lets see,I went in there at 10:30,diting get out till 1,didnt get till almost 2.I am tired.But,it was my Arthitis and He hadnt seen me since 6 months,so,it was time to see Him.He checked me out,you know that mettal thing,they stick up on your forhead and your susposed to see if you hear the loud noise?Well,I can hear it,but,only on my left ear and could hear some on my right ear.He looked in both ears,took a look in my bad one and said there some water buillding up on my canal and some wax.So,He gave me a priscription.Alagra D,I have 2 refils,so,I guess I am susposed to take it all till its gone,He said.He also wants me to see an ear pecialst.Another doctor,come on now,like I really need or want to see another doctor.I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!lol.You know when you leave and your susposed to pay your copay,well,I didnt have anything on me and I know,I have an outstanding bill to pay.What more could I ask for?tell me,I am not the only one with this problem.That is what is stressing me out.So many bills,to many doctos.I cant let my 2 others that I am seeing go,because,I need them.Someone tell me its all going to be ok?Or are they going to put me into jail?I been trying really hard to paying something every week,but,its hard,when you dont have the money.Thats why I am stressing out.Now,I dont want to go into work.I just want to stay in my bed and just feel like I am the only one on the planet.lol.Please,tell me if I am not the only one who feels this way?Who feels bad when you dont have the money upfront?I know,I know,hear I am,ranting on again.My life is just the pits right now.I shouldnt say that.But,how can you feel so happy and cheerful,with a posative attiude,looking toward the future?I dont get it?What am I susposed to do?Its a good thing,I am seeing my SYCALOGYST,who gives me meds.Sorry about that caps.Do you think I am feeling like I am running a mile a munite to catch up with the world and it all falls down.Yal dont want to listen to me vent,I hate this,this is not me.I never felt this way before in my life,the way I am feeling about everything.Its all hitting me at once.I am growing up and I dont know what to do.Yes,I am 34.Maybe I should just delete this journal.No,I wont,its just yal really dont want to hear me complain all the time about my pitty problems.Am I a good person?I feel bad,when I cant pay my bills,and I try.I am just going to have to send 20 dollars every week.ok,there,I said it.I know,this is our only journal,we can do what ever we want to do.But,sometimes I feel helpless about what to do with my life.Ok,I am going,because,I have to get cleaned up again to go to work.How it wish it was tommrow at 5,I am off Sat.Thanks again for listning to me vent.Be safe and peaceout.when I go see my Doc next week,I will tell Him,how I am feeling and I need rest and I havent had a good rest in forever.

 

Thursday happenings,good moring all.

 

 

Thanks Ds Designs for this moring graffis,is how I feel this moring.lol.Thank you.Thank you Roxy for my closing tag.

Good moring all,

                   Hope you all had a good night sleep.Mine was ok.I am up,dont know why,well,in a little while I have to go to the Doctors,I finally broke down and called them,was going to make an app for next week,but,they wanted to see me asap.Because,I couldnt take it anymore with my ear,it has been hurting so bad and my right arm is a little swolen and is sore.So,I am glad I am going.My ear has been hurting for a while now,thought it would go away,but it didnt.I am hoping they will give me some medicine.I have to be at work at 4 to 8 today,unless they dont want me to go.But I am off Sat,so,I will just what they say.When I talked to the secatary,She was saying,I havent been in there since 6 months.So,I better go todaoy.lol.This is my Arthitis Doc.She was telling me,I need to because,I shouldnt wait any longer,putting off to get this taken care of.Its werid,but my ear feels a some what better this moring.lol.But not a whole lot.I feel alot of pressure on it and it is making me sock to my stomach.Wonder if they will not let me go to work till its cleared up?I just hope they dont take any xrays of my arm,for one thing,they take forever..I am thinking He may just want me to stay off of work for a while so my arm can heal.But,we shall see.lol.I feel I been just having all kinds of problems.lol.My right big toe is swolen and hurting to.I just want to get in there,get out.Sorry,I just ranted on about my problems,I feel like thats all I been doing.I will try to do better.But its just been,I feel like I been having so much pain.I know people are more worse off than I am.Thank you for listing to me vent.I hope you all have a nice day.Be safe and peaceout.

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I am singing off,nity nite all.

Ok,you all probllay seen this one before,I need to get new ones.Just thought I would put this in here.Thats Him,Gary.Hes no imaginary boyfriend.lol.

Good evening everyone,

                        Hope you all are snugled in your bed having sweet dreams,I am to head there in a bit.I have my Laptop and I love it,but,I cant use my mouse,because,I guess you need some kind of disc to program it into the puter and it didnt come with it.Because my Laptop came in this huge cary bag and it had a book but no cd and maybe thats why my fingers are sore.My left hand is kinda hurting and a little swolen,maybe I slept on it worng last night.Getting off the subject,man,I am glad I called work today,to see what time I go in tommrow.I usllay work from 4 to 8,but,I go in at 10 to 2.lol.If I hadnt of called,I would of went in at 4,than again,they would of called me and say were are you?lol.So,I am glad I did that.lol.Gary and I went on our date night,should I say,day/date.Nothing special,just being together is nice.He always spoils me.I love going to the dollar stoor,you can find alot of nice stuff there.Thats whats I get my co workers Christma presant from,ok,maybe I am cheap.lolBut,you can find some pretty nic naks and stuff.Than we went to Bestbuy and I have been wanting for the longest time and I told Him not to get it,it was to much,but He did.I love classic movies.They had Ann of Green Gables,He got it for me.I was happy.I need to do something special for Him.He knows I dont have alot of money.I need to post some pics of both of us,maybe I will try and get someone we know tommrow when were out and about to get a pic of us together on my pic cell phone.I work tommrow,He is off.Today was actullay a pretty good day,didnt even argue with my Mom.lol.So thats kewl.Anyways,I know I still have aot to do,I will get around to do them sooner or later.lol.I got a question for you all.I relize something,I have so much clothes that I wear,some I donwear,but,why do I wind up with so much clothes in bathroom that I have to wash?Its never ending story with washing clothes.I am sure you all know that.lol.Anyways,I need to get off of here.I hope you all have a good night,dont let the bed bus bite.I been kinda sticking with Valtine color theme,if you notice.Be safe and peaceout.My whole left shoulder is just giving me a pain all through it,its kinda like a tingling pain,if that is what you call it.I better go.Nite nite all.

Thanks Sazzy for my closing tag,I love it.Thanks.

Sweet Dreams all!

                   Goodnight all,I had a whole entry and I acidently deleted it.Ugggggg,I know,we all hate when that happends.I want to say thank you all for just being YOU!!!Thanks for the encourgment comments YOU always give to me.I know I need to email a few people back,I will do that tommrow.I am so tired,I fell alseep earlyer,woke up not to long ago.I had alot of alerts to catch up on,so,I did thoes.But I took 2 Tyenol,Sinus,congestion and pain,which cleared my ear ache up reall good,didnt know they was night time.lol.So it is kicking my butt and I better get off of here.Just after taking 2 of them,really helped.I may take 2 tommrow.I feel so much better.I really thought it I was just having a bad ear ache,but it was my Sinus,didnt know that couldd do that,but I guess it does.well,till tommrow.Be safe and peaceout.I also wanted to mention that Mom and I are ok,we talked,not about anything really,just talked.So that was good and I liked that.I love my Mom alot,I just worry about Her.Thank YOU all for being there for me.

Happy Monday Moring all!

Good moring all,

                  Hope you all had a goodnight sleep last night.I had a pretty good night,till I woke up this moring.I would like to talk about something to get it off my mind.I gues I been doing that alot lately.Venting in my journal.I dont want to do this all the time,but,I feel I need to let this out before I go crazy.I guess,maybe I shouldnt have said I was going out later with my boyfirend when my Mom asked me what time are you leaving?I told Her.She did make breakfest and I thanked Her,but,She didnt say anything.I guess and I know She is mad with me.I just dont know what to do anymore.I asked Her if She wanted go somewere and I would go.Than She brings up,you have your life,just go upstairs,meaning,I have my Laptop,and I have my boyfriend.But I tryed,I asked Her and She didnt want to go out.I feel like all the time,I have to drop everything and something with my Mom.I love my Mom and I want to spend time with HEr.I know,I know,you all have told me,its going to happend till I do something about it,like move out.I cant afford to move out,even if I did and I had a roommate,I still couldnt afford it.I have to much on my plate.I have my shots to pay for,doctor bills and I just cant.I would never move in with my boyfriend because I know how that would end up.She would be very mad at me and I dont want that.So,till something gives,I just have to keep thinking  posative,try not let this get to me,which thats not easy.I do alot for my Mom and I feel She doesnt relize that.Even if I talk to Her about how I feel,She will get very senative about it and wont speak to meI cant talk to my Dad either.So,things right now are just left in the air.Dont get me worng,Shes a good Mom,She does so much.I dont even know if She wanted to go out this moring or not.She didnt even act like it.I just dont know what to do.It hurts me.But this is the best way,I can just let it all out.I dont want to keep feeling like my journal is a sob story.lol.But,I am my own person,I do have a life and if I was out on my own,what would She do.I am not always on my Laptop.I just dont know.I hate this,I know Hate is a strong word.But,my heart aches,because I feel She thinks I dont want to do anything with Her.She thinks I am never there for Her.She gets so stressed out.My brother from London will be home soon,She will have plenty of time,spending with them.I know,they will want to spend time with everyone.I know my MOm,I know how She gets.I just dont know what to do.I guess this is something I am going to have to pray about really hard and let God take over.Thank you all for lesting to me vent again.You all are really good listners.Have a nice day.Be safe out there with the nast weather and peaceout.

 

Good moring all,time to wake up and slemm the coffee or hot choclate!!!

Good moring all,

                         Happy Sunday to everyone,hope its a good one.I am up early,because,I have to go to work soon.My ear feels so much better,I just put some more drops into my ear this moring,did one last night when I came home from work and it helped.Having an ear ache is the pits.lol.But,thinking God,I feel beter today.Thank you all so much for the encourgment words you left in my journal yesterday concerning work.I guess,I am really just going to have to keep quiet and just pray about this.Thank you all.Maybe God has bigger plans for me.I just wish I knew what they were and now.lol.Do you think God has biggerr plans for me,or is this it?Sometimes I wonder.I know I have so much to offer to the world,but what is it?Is God telling me something?Or maybe I am just all talk and no action.lol.Thats the fear in me,wont letting me get out there and experenice new things?I am tired of being afarid,tired of just sitting arounf.I know,I am just talking about it,but not doing anything about it.Only problem is,I dont know what to do.I guess this is another problem I have to keep on praying about.I feel I am not in touch with God,alot of times I doubt Him,I know Hes there,He is always there,but,do you ever doubt Him?I will honestly say.How can you truly know God is there?Faith,yes,I know its all about faith,reading Gods word and going to church,which I have  failed al of theeses.I will honestly admit to.Dont know were I see myself in Gods eyes,or what He wants for me.I just think about that alot.Theres more on this subject later.I have to get off of here and get dressed.I feel like this is an everyday thing,oh wait,it is.lol.Mom just told me we may get a few inches off snow tonight,or well,this evening,it never snows,in the evening,well,not always.They say we could get a mix of ice,thats what I dont like.Mom said She wont drive to church tonight if its messy,which,I am glad about that.Ok,I am gone.Cya later,gators.Be safe out there and peaceout.

 

s out,its time to get some sleep,you know what I mean,jelly bean?lol.

Good night all,

              Its way past my bedtime.lol.I am feeling alot better.I think most of it was due to having a really bad ea ache,I bought some stuff to help my ear,which cost alot,but did the trick.I will use it in the moring before I head off to work.I didnt ood all day,my boss asked me what was worng,I said I didnt feel good.I guess,the other day,I was complaing that I am susposed to have more hours than some of theeses people in here and I guess one of my co workers said something to Her.She thought I was mad about that,which I wasnt,I wasnt feeling good at all.But,am feeling better.She was actullay saying there are way to many full timmers in here and She mentioned that one of part timmers,that does cakes,is susposed to be working more _hours.But,to be honest,She doesnt do a very good job at it.I been there longer.Its not that I dont like,I do.Sometimes,it just bugs me.Gets on my nerves and I cant stand it.well,enough about that.it brings me down alot and I know,I know,I should and am greatful for what I have.But,I have bills,my shots to pay for Arthitis,which I am paying 300 for 4 boxes,which isnt bad,just sometimes I,alot of times I cant afford it.I need my shots,without thoes shots,I wouldnt be walking today.Sorry,seems like I been venting alot lately.I will be glad when its Monday.I get so tired by the end of the weekend,I am ready for my day off.lol.Which I olny bee working 4 days and having 3 days off.I am blessed to have what I have.It just streses me out sometimes.Thank you all for listning to me vent.Thank you all for the wonderful comments you send to me.I want to thank the new commers who come and comment on my journal,thank you,you dont know what it means to me.I think we all J-landers know how special it is to have a place likeJ-land to come to,to listen to,to vent to,giving good advice and encourging one another.I am blessed to have you all in my life.Be safe and peaceout.

 

Have a fun Sat all.

Hi everyone,

            Hope you all is having a good weekend.How is the weather going folr everyone?I am hearing it is pretty bad in alot of places and its so cold almost everywere.I think last night was the coldest night we have had all winter.If you open the door,you can just feel the cold wind.I think there caling for smething tonight or tommrow night,who knows.The weather is always changing.I have to get off of here soon,get myself cleaned up.I will tell you one thing,I am feeling so sick to my stomach right now,I feel I am not going to make it at work.I feel achy all over.I hope I am not comming downn with something.I been really good about that,not getting sick.But I feel like,sorry,puking.I feel like calling out.But I cant cause I only have 3 days of work.Unless when I go into work and I dont feel good,I will just go home.My boyfriend is working till 2,I go in at 1.So we will see.Anyways,I am going to get off of here and get some things done.Have a nice weekend/week ahead.Be safe and peaceout.

Good night all.

Ok,I just had a whole entry and something happend and it went away.I hate when that happends,I know you all do to.I am not going to do a long one,which I had already written.I am so tired,I a about to fall alseep.My body is a little sore,everywere on my body.My shoulders hurt the worst,they feel so tight.My neck is red,I wore this shirt at work and I think it was eriating me.Have a good night all.Be safe and peaceout.

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the answer is,no snow!!!Bummer.lol.

Good moring all,

                     Hope you all are having a good start of the weekend.I feel a whole lot better today,than I did yesterday.My ear feels some better,but not alot.can you belive we didnt get any snow at all,none what so ever.lol.I mean it was soooooo cold outside last night,I thought we were going to get some.Would of been nice.But,maybe another day.lol.I am watching Devorce Court,I like watching thoes stupid shows.lol.They crack me up.Ok,what is better,cable or watching  regular tv?lol.I want to know.lol.I dont have cable,I am not normal.lol out."I have high speed inter,only because my boyfriend is paying for it.he can be so senative sometimes.Last night at work when He calls me to say good night and we talking,talking about how my Dad wants to move.He is like,I dont want you to move,I am like,its not like I am moving tommrow.lol.I said,what you not going to see me if I move?I know He loves me and He said I love you so much,that moving doesnt mean anything.i told Him,if He loves me so much,than put a ring on my finger!!!!!we shall see.We have a good reltionship.He is always there for me,we love eachother so much.But anyways,I have been sitting down for to long and sitting down to long,can make you ache.I have a few things to get done,clean up before going into work today.I still feel tired,feel like going back to bed.But,anyways,I hope you all here in J-land have  wonderful weekend.I wanted to thank you all for the wonderful comments you all leave here in my journal.What I wouldnt do without my journal.You guys are my rock.Does that sound stupid?Be safe and peaceout. 

I am going to bed.nity nite all.

I just wanted come on here and say good night,I know you heard me say this before,I am off for 3 days and just getting back to work.why does it tire me out so much?When I get home from work,I am sore,my neck,shoulders,back,they all hurt right now.I know most of it is due to work,but,it is probllay arthitis to.Drives me nuts sometimes,because they hurt so bad.Sorry,about complainging,I know theres more wors off than I am.I also have an ear ache,dont know where that came from.I have small ear drums,or what ever you call it.lol.My left ear has always given me problems ever since I was little.If it doesnt get any better over the weekend,I will go to the doctors next week.well,enough about that.lol.Yuppers,it was sooooo cold out tonight,finally getting the cold weather,not that I want it.I love snow,maybe one big snow,see the kids playing in it.My Dad just came in my room to check on how high my heat was on.lol.It wasnt on that high.when I am at work and I leave my Laptop down stairs,he uses it.lol.He likes it because,it is high speed,He doesnt have that on His puter.He wa talking about geting Comcast,cabel and high speed,but,I dont think Hes going to get it.Man,I am tired,about to fall alseep.I have a question for you all,whats a good excerise for your back,shoulders,neck and arms?I will tell you they hurt so bad.I do try and do some kind of excerise for them,it helps some,but not much.I am watching this commerical.I feel like I am so out of wack sometimes,like I need to get motavoted,if you know what I mean.How do you do that?Anyways,I am so tired,I now have to get off of here.I dont even remember what I am talking about here.Kidding.lol.Well,maybe not.lol.Ok,I am outtie here.Have a good night all.Be safe and peaceout.

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The question is,will it snow or not?lol.

Hi all,should I say,good after noon all!

                   Hope your all having a good one and staying warm.Its actullay,freezing cold outside,very cloudy,the kind of day were you can see,semll it and feel like its going to snow.lol.Ok,sounds werid.But,thats the facts.lol.I got up this moring,went out with my Mom.lol.Yup,it was all good.So,were doing alright now.lol.I am on my way to work in a bit.Which now I dont want to go.lol.I feel so lazy after having 3 days off,which is my regulary week now and going back to work on Thursday.Bla.lol.But,its only for 4 hours,it will go b fast anyways,because there is so much to do in the bakery.Preping for Friday,cleaning and closing at 8.Which I get off at 8.4 to 8.I hope things get better.Do you ever think,there could be something else out there in the world,better for you?Or is this just it for me?working in a groicer stoor?Not that I am blessed,but,I wonder,what if something else is out there and how do you know?In a way,I know this is it for me.I dont know,maybe I am just talking.Oh well.I really do have to get off of here and get my butt in geer.lol.I dont even feel like wearing any makeup.Maybe I wont.I wish I can take my Laptop on the go.lol.But,it has to stay in my room,were it will be cold.lol.Yeah,Dad keeps the dang heat down to zero.Dont ask me why.He always thinks,you have covers,thats all you neeed.lol.Well,I took out a big,huge heavey blanket for tonight.Thats how cold it is out now,but when the sun goes down,its going to get colder.Anyways,I realy have to get going,.I will be back later.Have a nice day.Stay warm.Be safe and peaceout.

Already on the move for the day.

Good moring all,

                 I cant talk long,but,wanted to see if this works and I belive it did.I hope anyways.I have a busy fun day ahead of me.I am going out with my boyfriend,were going to go see Rocky.I have seen all of His old ones.I heard this is the best one yet.I hope you all have a nice day.Sazzy,if this works,I dont remember how I did it and I want to replace the ones I can,if I can.Thank you all for all of your wonderful comments.I love you all so much.You mean the world to me.Be safe and peaceout.

My oldest brother and His family from London,Missionaries

 

Messersmith Family

Missionaries to England

 

They just recently had a baby girl,I probllay showed a pic of Her in recent entrys,this letter is a new one,but the pic is not a recent one with the baby in it.But its fairly recent.Just wnated you all to see my family.Thanks and have a nice day.

 

Dear Friends,

Our family would first like to thank you for the gifts and cards sent over the Christmas holiday. They were greatly appreciated and we do not count lightly the sacrifice made. Special thanks to our home church, Woodlawn Baptist Church in Bowie, Maryland for the special love offering taken for the needed repair to our van.

During Christmas our church was able to distribute 5,000 Gospel tracts explaining the true meaning of Christmas. Our young people also had the opportunity of participating in the annual late night shopping event in Market Harborough. This event brings many hundreds of people into the town centre and then the kids sang and played bells. Afterwards they went about handing out Gospel tracts. The blessing is that no one would refuse a tract from one of the kids.

In the last letter I asked you to pray for Vicki. She is the lady that was saved over the summer by reading her Bible. She began to email the church from a tract she received. After a few weeks me and a young man from our church was able to visit with her. She has attended church for 3 weeks now and her husband came with her this past week. His name is Steve and he is very open and pleased that his wife has begun to attend church. Vicky has started working through a discipleship course from the church. She is so hungry for God’s Word that I give her several lessons at a time and then by the next Sunday she is ready for more. Please continue to pray that she will grow and that her husband will accept Christ.

Several months ago Marcia and Reta, our missionary helpers, was distributing our church news letter through the doors. Bill, who had received our opening service invitation 2 years ago, decided after he got the news letter, to visit our church. Bill has been coming faithfully ever since. I asked him if he were a Christian, he said, “I used to think I was but I do not have what the people in this church have. No, I am not a Christian.” He is very open and over the past couple weeks you can see that the messages have been speaking to him. Please pray that he would be saved.

I asked you to pray for David who had been coming to our church. He has decided that coming to church brings too much conviction in his life. There are a few things that he is not willing to call sin and thinks God should overlook those things. He lives in the same village as one of our families and they are keeping in touch with him and being a fervent witness.

Due to some recent changes in the visa law in England, we are going to be leaving for furlough sooner than expected. We will be in the states beginning in April and staying for one year. Please pray 1) that we will be able to raise the extra needed support due to changes in the strength of the dollar, increased living costs in the UK, and changes in our support level, 2) for our church to continue to grow and that the new Christians will continue to be discipled and that new folks will come to church.

I am always reminded of Galatians 6:9, “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” May the Lord continue to richly bless you in all your labour for Him.

Steve Messersmith and Family

I Timothy 1:12

Thinkong on what I should do.

Before I start,I am having problems,only problems I am having is the graffics with my names on it,no matter what I do,nothing changes,every pic I try and choose,will stay as bmp,not as gif,which it should be,anyone have any ideas,please let me know.Thanks.

Good moring all,

                 Hope you all is having a good one.I am doing ok here,I guess.Mom is getting dressed and cleaned up to go out with my neice Katie for lunch.When I talked Her,She was like,I know your not going,with your actions last night.I give up,I just feel like everything I do,is worng.But,I am praying about it.She knows today is date night.Duh.lol.Shes leaving at 1,the time She gets home,wont be till probllay after 1,I know my Mom,I know how long She takes.I tryed with Her yesterday.But I will you something and it always ends up like that.By Friday,She is ok,I should even say this,but,only because,I feel as thoe,because I give rent money and I get stuff She needs for the house,food for the kids for Sat.Than,when Monday comes,its all over again.I feel as thoe She doesnt see all that I help out.If I say anything,sit down and talk with Her,She will just get mad at me and wont talk with me and I cant say anything to my Dad.because,She will be even more mad.So,I am just leaving it all in Gods hands.So,like I said,I dont know what to do.I wish I could get my own place,but,right now,I cant afford anything.I dont have many hours at work to susport myself.So,I am just going to leave it as it is.When I saw Mom this moring,after what She said,I didnt seem like I wanted to go out with Her today,I just walked away,not saying anything,wasnt mad,just wlaked away.Sometimes I just feel like going to go stay in a hotel for a few days,just to get away.I know that some people do that.You all know,I love my Mom so much.I guess,with both of us living in the same house together,its a bit to much.Another thing,I couldnt find my cell phone,but,when I did find it,which was in my bed the whole time.lol.I got 2 texts from my Sis.One said,was I working today,the other one said.Love you,I didnt know if you knew that you are aloud to come to church more than 3 times a year.Boy,when I saw that,I didnt know wat to think and still dontknow what to think.I am kida hurt by that.I know She may mean well.But if She is like that,that is not going to get me into church.I try.But I feel like right now,I cant try anymore.Even if I did move out on my own,She will be mad.How are you going to susport yourself,how are you going to get around?She just doesnt want me to move out.I am not trying to just make Her out to be the bad person.But,I cant deal with this anymore.Sometimes,I do want to move out.You all,if you all could say a prayer for   me and my Mom,I would be so thankful.and maybe give me some ideas on what I should do.Thank you all for being there for me,listning to me,giving me nice comments and encourgment.I love you all.Be safe and peaceout.

Martin Luther King, Jr. December 1964

About the Memorial

Dr. King's Spiritual Presence                                                         

Dr. Martin Luther King is remembered as a great orator whose impact on the nation came from the eloquence and inspirational quality of his words. His speeches, sermons and public addresses melded themes of democracy deeply embedded in the American conscience, and reinvigorated these messages with clear and insightful reflections on the true meaning of justice and equality.

The Jefferson Memorial as seen from the Stone of Hope.

Within the memorial, quotes from Dr. King's sermons and speeches, arranged chronologically according to his life, are to be inscribed at a large scale on the glistening smooth surfaces of the water wall. These passages will be reinforced through the referential use of water, stone and light as metaphorical elements that heighten an awareness of his message.

All of the senses will be engaged through the experience of the memorial, and, foremost, through the visual perception of space, using contrast and juxtaposition, scale and height and the bold display of carefully selected words expressing his spirit. The inspirational text and the mood created by the sound of the water, its cooling mists, and the visual complexity of its varied states together with the contrasting rough and smooth surfaces of stone, the abrupt and gradual changes in grade and the patterns of light and darkness will dramatically underscore the visual sense of the man and the qualities of courage, conviction and leadership that characterize his life and work.

Added to these powerful sensory experiences will be a sculptural representation of Dr. King himself. This is not conceived of as a pure figurative depiction of hisphysical being, separate and apart from other elements, but rather would give another dimension and layer of meaning to the experience of the memorial as a whole. Dr. King will appear as an integral part of the "Stone of Hope", as if he embodies the stone itself. He will be positioned on the side of the stone facing the Jefferson Memorial and will be gradually revealed as part of the procession towards the Tidal Basin.

"There are two types of laws: there are just laws and there are unjust laws...What is the difference between the two?...An unjust law is a man-made code that is out of harmony with the moral law...Paul Tillich has said that sin is separation. Isn't segregation an existential expression of man's tragic separtion, an expression of his awful estrangement, his terrible sinfulness?"

– Martin Luther King, Jr., 1963

At first, as one enters the main space, the stone will appear as a solid monumental mass, somehow cleft from the stones flanking the portal entry, but pushed forward so as to be visually juxtaposed with the Jefferson Memorial.

As one gets closer to the monolith, its rough hewn edges toward the memorial will begin to take on a vaguely familiar contour, recognizable, but not entirely clear.

Finally, as one looks back to the water wall and main space from the stone, the image of Dr. King will be fully revealed. He will be seen looking across the Tidal Basin to the Jefferson Memorial and pointing with a pencil back to his words in "The Promissory Note" as if, having just written these words, he is now standing vigil and awaiting delivery of the note. The indirect view of King and the incompleteness of his form will make his spiritual presence more powerful. This representation will stir the emotions, transcend the physical and symbolic and directly engage the imagination of the viewer.

World peace through nonviolent means is neither absurd nor unattainable. All other methods have failed. Thus we must begin anew. Nonviolence is a good starting point. Those of us who believe in this method can be voices of reason, sanity, and understanding amid the voices of violence, hatred, and emotion. We can very well set a mood of peace out of which a system of peace can be built.

– Martin Luther King, Jr. December 1964

The entire memorial invokesthe memory and spiritual presence of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. through the visual experience of place, reinforced by the full range of sensory perception, the metaphorical use of water, stone and other landscape elements, the powerful display of passages from his sermons and speeches and the appearance of his physical image in the "Stone of Hope".

Just want to know,am I that bad of a daughter?

sorry,it doesnt seem like a good Monday moring.Well that dooes it,I did a whole entry,was almost done and about to hit save and I must of accdently cancled it.I hate when that happends.today was a good start of the day till my Mom woke up.we were susposed to go out.We were going to do a Moms day today,but it didnt turn out to be that way.I dont understand Her.I got up this moring,took a shower,was getting ready for Mom.I go down stairs and start ckeaning up some.I go to put the dishes in the dish washer,I didnt know they was clean already,they didnt look that clean to me.So,Mom comes out and yells at the bottom of the stairs to my room and ask me if I put more dishes into the dish washer,I said yes and She got mad.I didnt know what She was saying as She walked away.So,I just let it go for a few munites,than I went down stairs,I did say I was sorry at first,and I said I am getting ready to go with you,and She is like,no,go back upstairs and get on your puter.So,She will be mad for the rest of the day.I will be stuck in my room,the rest of the day.She really gets on my nerves.I am trying to help out and I do one mistake and She gets mad.I think She is just tired,because,She been up all night.Who knows.She told me earlyer before all this happend to go get dressed and I was,till this happend.Oh well.This to shall pass.Anyways,I hope you all have a better day than I am having now.I can actullay say,today,being Monday,is a bla day.I am not going out tommrow,because its date night,than She gets mad cause I am always out with Gary.Today,this moring,I try really hard doing what She wants to do.If it was my Sister calling,and sometimes they aruge or have a ,what ever you want to call it.Mom calls Her back and trys to make things up with Her.I dont understand it.I feel as thoe,She doesnt never want to make my Sister mad and I love my Sister,dont get me worng.If my Mom isnt feeling well enough to watch the kids,She will do it anyways and wont say anything.I dont get it.I said enough.I better go.I think I will just go back to bed.and another thing,I was mad at work,because,one co worker,gets to have only one day off and She is a dagon parttimmer just like me!!!!!!!Today isnt my day.Have a nice one you all.Be safe and peaceout.Ok,one more thing,the phone rings,it is my Sister,and Mom talks to Her and ask if She take my neice out with Her to go shoping.Ok,I am mad now.I am not going to speak to Her.I am just upset and now i have tears slowy running down my face.Am I that bad of a daughter?

Bla,its Monday.lol.And I need help!!!

Good moring all,

                hope everyone had a nice weekend.Mine was ok.I wanted to ask you all a question,I am  looking for file manager and I dont know were to look?Were can you find file manager?HELP!!!Thanks.Todays plans,probllay just going to spend a day with my Mom.I feel like going back to sleep and staying in bed all day.lol.Looks like a good day to do it to.I thinks its going to rain.Mom wants to go to K-mart and to breakfst at Ihop.Thats if we go.I think She is still sleeping.lol.Did I mentioned my Brother and His family are comming home from London for a while,for a year or so.They are going back to London,they just need help from other churces to susport them.They are missonarys in London.I cant wait to see them.The new little baby,She is just precious.They all have red hair.lol.Dont know if put a pic of them in my journal or not,but,I will have to do that later.well,I am going to get off of here and get a few things done.I dont even feel like taking a shower,which I do every moring when I get up.My tummy was bothering me last night and still doesnt feel to good.I hope you all have a nice Monday.Mondays always seem sooooooooo bla.lol.Be safe and peace out.

sat happenings

This is a recent pic of me,its actullay pretty good,I think.lol.It was taken Christmas night,when my Sister was playing make over on me.lol.

Good Moring all,   

                    hope you all having a good start of the weekend.Unfortulay I have to be heading to work soon.I love working,dont get me worng,but,I sure do miss my hours,working in the moring,comming home,just doing nothing but relaxing.lol.I sure hope my hours will change.But,I mean,dont get me worng,you all know,I had a fit about in the past.I dont mmind it,because,I am getting used to it.But,some days you know how you feel like just doing nothing?I have one of them days today.I dont even feel like getting ready,dressed,cleaned for work.lol.Thats me,take it or leave it.lol.But I haverelized,just do my job,go in there,dont complain,it will be done in no time.lol.When my boss always ask me to do something,I do it for Her.Shes really a nice lady,very sweet and nice to get along with.I just dont understand why they have so many full timmers in our bakery apartment and they have so many part timmers,you think they would be nice enough to share and give hours to us.Thats what our old boss would do.But,its hard times,I know.I am trying to think posative,its not easy.I am trying to belive God has something instoor for me,is this were I want to be?I know right now,its were I should be,because,I have health insurance and I so need that.But I often wonder?What else out there could instoor for me?were do I go about doing that?Now that I have my Laptop,I can get on here,write in my journal and just go at it,with all my feelings and questions and answers I need.lol.I guess you can say,this is my favorite Christmas preasnt.lol.But,maybe,I should give myself a breal at late at night and getting some sleep.lol.Anyways,I better head off of here and,I guess,I have to get cleaned up.lol.I still have my private journal,which I might do some cleaning up in that eara sometime soon.I already figured out on how to helping Mom getting things cleaned up in this house.I am going to start with one room at a time.Thank you all  so much for nice comments.I love you all.I hope you all hav a nice weekend.what do you all have planed for?Work?lol.for thoes of you who arent working on the weekends,enjoy,relax,think of me while I am working.lol.For the rest of you,enjoy,Be safe and peaceout.Didnt relize at the time but the closing graffic is perfect for the above graffic of Me.lol.No,I am not concieted.lol.Thanks sazzymademe for the pretty graffic.

Its time for me to hit the hay,I am going to bed.Ta Ta.

Good night all,

                Yes,its late,with this new Laptop of mine,I love it.lol.I can get on and off anytime I want to.But I do need to get my sleep.lol.I just wanted to say to everyone of you all,thank you so much for the wonderful comments of encourgment you all have given to me yesterday concerning my day at work.I love you all.I love my J-land friends so much.I love getting to know you all,new and oldJ-landers.I see that I have a few new J-landers come to comment,thank you,I will be stoping by your journals soon.I just thank you all so much.It went ok at work today,I told the boss what happend and its not my falt,but,I saw the night gurad comming in as I was leaving.lol.she was heading to the bakery dapartment.I shouldnt worry,but,I wonder what She had said,cause,I know She was going to say something.Anyways,nite nite.Thanks again sooooo much to all of you.You mean the world to me.Have a nice weekend.Be safe and peaceout.

TGIF Which means PayDay.lol.WoooHooo

Good moring all,

                Hope you all having a good start of the weekend.I am doing better than I was last night.Work was ok untill about the time I was finishing up closing and geting ready to leave.Than,I was mad,I was really mad becuse the night guard who comes in and She wanted a donut.well,when your closing and I was told what to do.Clean out the donut window,package up all the donuts in a box and put them back into the window.She comes over and Shes like,whats up with this!She wasnt happy,I came over and I told Her,I told Her what I was susposed to do and that we had been doing that for a while now.The nerve of Her,what She had to say.She said,no,this hasnt been going on,your the only one who does it.I am like,no,I am not the only one who does it.I told Her,I said,every night,your susposed to clean out the donut window,pacakage them up and put them back into the window.She got really mad.She said again,NO!You only do that.I am like,no,I am not,I am sorry,if you have a problem,youu can talk to my manager.man,I was mad,everything was going alright till She came along.It makes me so mad when someone like that knows its not susposed to be like that and for Her to be telling me,that I am the only one who does it.How dare Her!!!Sorry,it just had me so mad.I was upset or anything,just mad,because the fact that Shes never been mean to me like that before.Shes always been nice.Well,the table will be turned.Oh,I will be nice and say Hi,but if She isnt nice back to me,what is that saying?What comes around goes around.lol.I know this isnt a big deal and it really isnt,but,come on now.It is just eritating.You know?Ok,I am done with that.Sorry,had to get that off my mind.Thanks for listening.I hope I dont get in trouble for this.when I go into work today,I will tell my boss what happend.Anyways,nothing much going on here,just working.This comming week I am going to help Mom get things cleaned up.try to,anyways.lol.You all have a nice weekend.Be safe and peaceout.This tag here,was made by a special friend who I have known for a long time.She comments on my journal sometimesShes a sweetie.Shes not a pspser.But I think this tag is just beatiful,and were I want to be right now.lol.Thanks Tazzie.

 

 

Just venting.

Thanks D's Designs for the opening graffic,I love it and thanks for Sonata creations for my closing tag.I dont have your journal,so if anyone who knows who has it let me.Thanks.

Yes,its me again,I made en entry earlyer,but felt like making one again.I am feeling a bit stressed out,I guess,I hide my emotions very good sometimes,than sometimes not.I am wearing myself out,trying to fiure out how to get things done,how to help my Mom,how to help myself.Worrying about bills,birthdays comming up,to many,I might add.lol.I am just so stressed and,I feel I cant stop moving,got to be on the go.I wish I could just for once,close everthing down for the day,just sleep.Thats probllay what I shuld of have been doing in the first place.I have so much to do,I dont know were to beging.I maybe feeling a bit depressed,just trying to get it all taken care of.I know my Mom depends on me alot.But sometimes,I just wish I could just be on an island all by myselfok,maybe with my boyfriend.lol.But than again with the way I am feeling right now,I dont know.I havent decied on what to do about my shots.I have to fill this paper out,so,it can help me to get them free or help the cost go down.I am not getting enpough good sleep at night.I just feel all out of sorts today.I dont want to go to work.But I think I need to.shoot,been off for a while.lol.Thats probllay whats worng with me.Theres alot of change I would like to change about myself.Dont know were to begine on that.I am just stressd out.Feeling like I cant stop.I feel like I have to be doing something,always moving.Anyways,sorry about venting on.Hope you all have a nice day.Be safe and peaceout.I am depressed,because I have to look at my room and it needs so much changing.I dont like change,let me tell you,I try to rearange things around,and it goes ack the way it is.Crazy I know.

 

I know what I am doing todat,what are you doing today?lol.

Good Moring all,

                   Hope you all having a good one.I know its been a few days since I weotr an entry.I have been busy and I havent been feeling well.Mostly I just been reading and commenting on other peoples journals.Nothing much here today,I think I am going to take it easy today before going into work at 4.I am just so tired.Been waking up feeling tired.I have some good news ans hope it all pans out.My brother and His family from London,from what my Mom told me,will be comming home sometime in Mrch.It will be nice to see all of them.I have pics to share as soon as I get my phone bac.lol.I think and I hope I left it in my boyfriends truck.lol.He asked me last night if I had everything and I thought I grabed my phone,but,I guess I didnt.i hope it is in His truck.Dont know why I am so tired.I think I am oing to go back to bed.We been busy here the last few days and my brother comming,I am sure my Mom will put me to work and get the house cleaned up,why,I dont know why,they seen the house before.lol.I think we need a make over house done to.lol.We have so much jonk that needs to be thrown away,how long its been sitting here,you dont want to know.lol.Yeah,but,when everyone else,including my sister or brother,if they have to much stuff and dont have enough room,were do the put it?Yup,yu guessed it,here.lol.Anyways,I think I am going to go lay back down for a while.I felt like I had been off for a whole week.Thats because my Boss calls me yesterday at home and swiches my day off for yesterday and I work today.lol.So,I had Mon,Tued and Wed off,I work the rest of the week.Thank goodness.lol.I need to work.I hope you all have a nice day today.Tues and Wed were our first cold days and it was cold.lol.Today is a little cold,but will probllay warm up.I wish we could just get a little bit of snow.Ok,I am done now.Be safe and peaceout.One more thing.lol.I love being on high speed inter net,it is so much faster than being on Dads puter.I love it and I can listen to the viedos now and can download anything fast.Wooooooohooooooo.I love my Laptop.I know,I know,when I say I am done,I am not.lol.Ok,got a question for ya.How do you start cleaning and getting everthing done when theres so much stuff to get rid of?I want to start cleaning and getting rid of things.But how?Thanks