Hi all,
hope you all had a good weekend and will have a great week ahead.I dont know what to do with myself now that I have alot of time on my hands.lol.Wasnt there a song called that,time on my hands?lol.I think I found a color I likein my journal,hope it isnt to brite for anyone.I still think of this question alot,try to grasp the meaning of it.Whats the meaning of life?Can I actullay say,is there really a God out there?I mean,I know there is,but,sometimes,probllay alot,I doubt.But I am a beliver and want to belive He is there.Is that stupid of me to ask that?How do you have faith in beliving,when there so much crime and hate,not enough love and caring and sharing in this world.What is God trying to tell us?I know,Hes trying to tell us something,that Hes comming soon and wants us to be ready.I have to admit,I am not near ready.How do I get ready?How do I stand up for
myself,stop being afarid,do what I need to do for myself.I know that God has been in my heart,He always has and always will be.I know Hes trying to reach to me.He knows the kind of person I am,sometimes,I think,bla.lol.I dont want to be that person at times.My family is a christian family,except for my Dad,He doesnt know the Lord,but,the rest of my family,they love the Lord.I have a family in London who are missionarys,that was my brothers calling to take His family and preach over there,preach to the people in London,and I know that isnt easy.Sometimes,they give my brother a hard time,but,my brother isnt going to stop preaching for what He loves.he is my oldest brother,who has 4 kids and one on the way.Back here in Maryland,I have a sister and Her family who loves the Lord,goes to church,my sister does so much for the kids in Her class and the kids dont have much.I admire my sister,not just beacuse of thar,but becauseof the person She is.She has a heart of gold.Shes a good mom,I know Shes a good wife and a good sister.She has 3 kids,little rugrats,but there good kids.I have a another brother,Jeff and Tj His wife,Hes a hard working man,does so much for His family,Hes a good brother,they have 4 kids.Thats why I tell myself,I dont need any kids,I have enough neices and nephews to go around.lol.Belive me,I am already starting christmas shoping,yes,I said the word.lol.Christmas.lol.I already want snow.lol.I love snow.lol.I want a big snow storm,but,have to make sure,I have all my needs first.lol.Anyways,to get back to my family.I have a couisn who has lived with us ever since He was a baby,so,He is more like a brother to me than a couisn.I dont think of Him as a couisn,I think of Him as a brother,Allen and Stacie have 3 kids.And so it is,just me.lol.I am the only one left,no kids.I am the aunt.lol.But I love being the aunt.I love my neices and nephews.My neices and nephews have so much love and laughter in them,they never see the bad in this world,why is that?Just sitting here,trying what else I could say.lol.maybe thats why my shoulder is hurting alot,because,I am typing so much.I think I will put some bengay on my shoulder before I go to bed.lol.I know it smells,but,its good.I never thought my journal would end up like this,I am so glad I didnt delet this,because it does actullay help me to get my feelings out and clear my mind.I lvoe being in J-land,who ever came up with the idea of J-land,I congrat you. 
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1 comment:
Wow Amanda--lots of questions--wish I had some answers for you. You will find them--it just takes time and the willingness to ask the questions.
hugs,
Jaymi
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