Confused

Hi all,

    Hope everyone is having a pretty good and safe weekend.I am doing ok here.Not doing much of nothing.I usllay am in bed by now,but,dont have to be at work till 12 to 4 tommrow,so,thats good.I get to stay up a little late and sleep in.Today was a frustating day.I did get a good nap on,so,that was good.And I slept for about an hour.I tell you,when my moring medicine kicks in,it kicks butt.lol.Thats why I cant take it while I am working.I take Clonazepam,cant remember what mlgs they are,but its strong and it helps.I really need to change things in my life,shake myself up a bit and start doing things.I always say that,dont I?Its like you feel numb and cant get that feeling out.But onto another subject,I lvoe my Mom and we dont agree on some things,but,it really bugs me so much,sometimes,She throws it in my face and I really cant stand it.I know She loves me,and wants the best for me.But it really hurts me when She does that and than I dont know what to say.But anywyas,maybe I will talk about that another time.Sometimes I feel like shaking things up with my boyfriend,we been together for a while now,would say about almost,probllay 7 years.Deep down in the pit of my stomach,I know,I want to tell my boyfriend,if you love me,truly love me and I know He does,He does so much for me.But I want a live,I want a marriage,probllay not any kids,but you never know.But for me,I want to step up to that plate and tell Him,if you dont love me like you say you do,than,it even hurts me to say it here and I dont want to and you all know what I want to say next.So what do I do?I mean,yeah,Hes a little older than I am,age doesnt matter.It would scare me if I did do this,let Him go,but maybe I need to let Him go,to scare Him,because,I know He truly loves me,I do.But what if He dosnt come back to me?Okay,what should I do?I depend on Him for so much.But I also know I need to do things in my life.I need your advice guys.Thank you all for your advice.I really do love you guys.I know what God would want me to do which is the right thing to do.But I really havent talked to God in a long,long,long,long time.And I think tis is a wake up call for me.We just talked about going to OCean City for a week,we do that every year.Its already planed and everything.So,I am confused.Please help me out here and let me know what I need to do.Thank you all.I am going to try and get some sleep.You all have a nice night.Theres a hug for you all,because I care.Peaceout.