Sorry this is kind of long.LOL.

Good moring all,

I hope you all are having a good one.I am having a good one here.Even thoe I did a whole entry and a long one,I went to save it and it didnt save it.So I had to start over again.I hate when that happends.I am going to do what alot of you all do.I am going to copy and paste my entrys from now on to an email and if that happends again,I know I will have it and wont have to rewrite another entry.Like I am doing now.Bummer.Lets seeif I can remember what I want to say.LOL.Maybe this one wont be as long.Than again I dont know.LOL.

I am about to end this entry and go back to sleep.I seem to be having aol problems.Uuuuuuuug.I did sleep ok last night,even thoe I got up a few times during the night to go to the bathroom.I been up for a while now.But I will go back to sleep this moring.Toay I really need to get some things done.I am going to force myself to clean my bathroom and to clean my room rather I want to do it or not,I have to.Even thoe its not that really bad.But I still need to strighten up some.But I do need to get into my bathroom,that is a major thing I have to do today.I have to do some laundry.It is piling up.LOL.

Ok,I want to get this out,its been weighing on my mind alot lately.I dont know how to stop thinking about this one coworker,thinking that I am always doing something worng,when I am off or when I get off of work,even when my Boss says I did a good job,I still feel like I done something worng,even when I havent,I feel like She is going to write me up.Why do I always feel like that?IS LIKE MY Boss to;d me somehting last week.She told me I shouldnt be walking on egg shells around this person.I do.When I am home,I am always thinking about work,thinking I have done something worng to get written up.It drives me crazy,makes me feel depressed.Am I crazy?I need to do some changing in my life to make my life better about myself.I just dont know how to do that.I dont know if I am always saying that in my entrys or not.Do you all think I am stupid?Ok,now I feel bad.Maybe I should just end this entry and go back to sleep.But somehting is telling me I  need to get this out.

 

You all always seem to have good advice and you all know how to encourge me and let me know I am a good person.I thank you all for always being there for me.if it wasnt for this Journal and J-land,I wouldnt know what I would do without you guys in my life.It helps me alot to get things out.It helps to know I have good caring people out there like you all.I just want you all to know how Greatful I am for you all in my life.There is alot of things I need to do today.I want to search on line and maybe you all could help me on this one.I dont know how I can go about to look for some type of classes to help me learn how to deal with being not stressed out and depressed all the time.I know my Mom would tell me,that talking and praying to God is the answer and going back to church is the answer.I know She is right and I do need to do that,thats another thing,I dont understand why I dont do that.I used to go to church all the time and I loved it.But I stoped going.I dont know if it is the church I was going to or not.My whole family is into church.My Brother and His family are Missornays.The only one if my family who doesnt attend church is my one other Brother and my Dad.My Dad,does need to be saved.I do pray for Him all the time to be saved to know God in His heart.That is what I want for Him.I know I am a beliver and I know I have God in my heart.I will admit that I do doubt,I dont know why.If I would die today,I do doubt that I would be scared to die.Sometimes,I think that,is there really a heaven and a hell?I know there is,but,I do also doubt there isnt.Is that werid I think of that or what?am I nuts?You all tell me what is the answer.Anyways,I am going to go get some cearle and go back to sleep.I hope you all have a nice day out there.I know this is kind of long.Sorry about that.Be safe and warm out there.Peaceout.