Good moring all,
I hope your having a good one.I am doing ok here.But,I feel bad now,and dont know what to do about the sititution.I knew Mom wanted to go out and get some things done and wanted me to go with Her,but Gary wanted to go out also.But Mom,said,She wasnt sure how She was feeling,wasnt sure if She was going to go out today or not.I didnt know what She was going to do.She also knew I was going to go out with Gary and asked me what time I was going out with Him and I told Her.
I hate when this happends,sometimes it does happend.She makes me feel so bad,when I go out with Gary and not Her.She puts a guilt trip on me.She told me,I would rather go out with Gary and not Her.Thats not true,I love going out with my Mom.But,I cant help it if I am busy,working or going out with Gary.Its not like we had all week to go out.She always picks the worst times to go out.I just hate it when,She makes me feel bad and I have to worry about it all day.Than my day turns out to be lousy.So,now I dont know what to do.I just told Her that I told Gary,I was going out with Mom,than She tells me to call Him back and tell Him I can go out with Him.
So,today is not turnging out to be a good day for me.I will be sitting here,worrying about my Mom being upset with me,that we dont spend any time together.That I didnt spend any time during Christmas time either.she is not like this with my Sister.Even when She is upset with my Sister,She doesnt tell Her,She doesnt let Her know,but with me,She tells me.I just dont get it.So,should I still goout with Gary,go out with my Mom?Or just stay home and be miserable all day?No,I am just not liking myself right about now.Be safe and warm out there.Peaceout.
8 comments:
You are an adult, you are perfectly free to choose who to go out with. Your Mum does not want to let go of the apron strings it seems. Why not try a compromise, go out with Gary for a while and then go out with your Mum. That way everyone is happy.
http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/
Damned if you do-damned if you don't--seems like she always wants to go when you have made plans with BF and she lays this guilt trip on you -why?? because you allow her to...just say-sorry I made plans for today but would love to go with you tomorrow--if you feellike it...gotta stand up for yourself or it will never change...sorry so blunt-but this is how I see it...
hugs...
Maybe she feels bad too? It is hard to find time to do something when a person is busy and working all the time. Maybe if you talked to your mom before your day off and ask her if she is wanting to go out. Try to make appointments with your mom and Gary for the day. I feel like the reason your mom tells you is because she can't help telling you that she is disappointed. She is with you and closer to you than your sister. Try looking at this way... you are lucky that she wants to spend time with you. :-) Maybe before your time off take 30 minutes to talk to her? I will keep you and your mom in my prayers to have a wonderful day off. Gary deserves time with you too so hope you have time for both. :-) God Bless, Janie
Don't let you mom make you feel guilty. You're an adult, you can make what plans you want with who you want. Besides, you can't date your mom! LOL
Have a good weekend.
Missie
Missie took the exact words out of my mouth. You go out with Gary, and feel no guilt trip...have fun and plan a day just for you and your Mom on your next day off, and go with her then. Hope you have a great weekend...enjoy...hugs and much love,
Joyce
Yes missie is right...your mom wants you to feel guity when your out with her so you might not have good time with him. go out with gary and have fun..."put mom on a shelf" when you do go out, then when you come back tell mom it was fun and then ask her to go out with you the next day.
if she says no then its her choice not yours.
Patty
Your mom does want to put a guilt trip on you and doesn't want you to grow up but the thing is you already are. SO you spend time with Gary and don't worry about it. Make time for her though. She needs friends her own age, haha. I think she says these things as she doesnt want you to go away. She doesn't say them to your sister because you live with her and she's closer to you. She's already gone away and she doesn't want to lose you too so she's clingy.
She needs to take care of her own emotional needs some other way.
Nelishia
Have you seen the movie "Only the Lonley" with Maureen O'Hara, John Candy, Jim Belushi, and Ally Sheedy? You described how John Candy's mom was! :-)
Just say to your mom, ok lets set a date for just you & me time. Make her feel like you are also sooo committed to a special day for the two of you. If you think about it she is just missing you. As long as she is not being excessive in taking your time, then that is fine. Instead of getting upset, say, "Oh mom I'm sooo glad you love spending time with me. I think of all the kids whose mom's don't spend time with them or are much worse to them. I love spending time with you so lets make a date. If it doesn't work out that is fine but lets keep trying to make another date then." Or you can make it say every Wed afternoon or every 3rd Sat the month etc. Most of the time older people just want to know you still want to be with them & love them. They "know" but just like us we love to hear it & also feel it from them. You an also add before she complains, "Mom, I'm sooo glad I have a mom who wants me to be happy & have a boyfriend. You know there are so many mothers who just get jealous or get in the way & I'm so glad I don't have that kind of relationship with you." Now, not saying this sarcastically but very authentically. You can next time or later...when nothing is going on you can say some girl at work was taking about her mom & you were so glad to know your mom isn't like that etc. Just work it in to make her think. Good Luck
Post a Comment