Wed Happenings.

I really dont know what to say anymore.Yes,I miss my couisn,but,I think this is the best way for it to be right now.I know there is alot of hurt between the both of us.But I couldnt take it anymore,I had to let it go.She wouldnt see my side of the story.She always being right about everything and Me always being in the worng.I cant even make Her see what She is doing.It hurts me so much,why cant She what She is doing to m?It saddens me.I dont know what to think of it all.

I want to say so much,maybe I should just come out and say it all,even if people do read this,I dont care.I wanted Her to know I love Her and I pray for Her,but,She just thinks,that I am this bad person,that everytime we try to get together,things happend,I say I dont feel good,than She thinks I dont want to do anything with Her.The fact is,She suspects to much of me.She doesnt trust me,She doesnt want to get hurt again.I been hurt to.maybe in reaility,I knew this couldnt happend,we couldnt be friends,not this time,maybe later,I dont know.I can only do so much,I can only do for me.She keeps asking me why was I upset,what She was blaming me for,She was blaming me for the past,that I wasnt there for Her,,I didnt know how to be there for Her.When She was hurt and didnt know what to do.

Does that make me out to be the bad person?Not being there for Her?I couldnt,i just couldnt,it was to much.Maybe I may have made excuses,this time I wasnt feeling good.ou know,in the long run,maybe its better to be this way.You want to  be there for your family,you want to help them out,encourge them,make them happy.But,sometimes,to much is to much.I could go on and on and say so many things.she has my Sister N law,I am glad She has someone,who was my bestfriend back in highschool.Maybe I am saying to much.But,I just have to get this all out in the open.Yes,it hurts me,I am sad,torn inside,but,for now this is the right thing to do.I dont even know what I am saying anymore,I am tired and its getting late.Its pointless.I hate this,I hate that She doesnt see what She is doing.Its hard to let it go,because,I do miss Her.But,I cant have the added stress in my life.Well,I am going to leave it like this,maybe I will wake up feeling refreshed.I am better that I have let this go,even thoe it hurts.But I need to move on.Sorry guys if I am not make any sience.I am just tired of it all.It just makes me mad,that She cant trust me.If She cant trust me,than,I shouldnt be in Her life.So,for now,I am letting it go,letting God take control.Man,I can say alot of things,but now,its time for me to go to bed.Its late.Be safe and warm.Peaceout.