Things on my mind

I figured I would do another entry while I sit here and wait for food to come to the house.Mom didnt want to go out,so,I was glad about that.I would of went.But,on a day like today,dont feel like doing anything but going back to sleep.I will,when food gets here and after I eat.LOL.They said we should be getting some storms here later on.So,I will be charging my Laptop.LOL.Its funny,I come down stairs,waiting fo the food,Dad sees me getting my Laptop and He is probllay saying,were you going with that?.LOL.

I am trying not to fall alseep till the food comes.I took my moring meds,so,they make me a little sleepy.I have some things on my mind,dont I always?LOL.As hard as it is,its so hard to let go of the past,not so much of the mistakes you have done,but the people you have lost in your life.There is so much I want to say,so,much I would to have back in my life,maybe not certian people,because,I now know,having certian people in your life is not good for you if they keep bringing you down.There is someone I miss alot,everytime we have a gathering,man,let me tell you,its hard,hard being around that person.Theres so much hurt.Sometimes I want to cry,because,She was my bestfriend before She choose someone else in my family,if you know what I mean.I cant belive I am saying this,but its true.I was thinking of a saying,true friends stick together,in reality,thats not so true.But it hurts.I wish I could write Her a long letter,telling Her how I feel,but,dont think that would help,knowing someone else is in Her life,ok,one of my family members.I can actullay say and be honest,She was my bestfriend.I guess people change,when we get hurt,its hard to get that friendship back.

I just had to get that off my mind.Maybe I cant move on because there is so much hurt in my heart.I mean all in all,I am happy,dont get me worng.But there are things in my life I would love to make peace with.Maybe its not the right time to do it.I thought of writting Her a letter,but,what would I say?What would it matter?Maybe She thinks I am a bad person,because,I hurt someone else.The person I am talking about is my Sister N law,married to my Brother and I miss my Brother to.maybe some things are just better left alone.Maybe I wouldnt want to get a whole relitionshp back,maybe,I dont know what I am talking about.I just know my heart hurts.It has been hurt for a long time and I know She has been hurt to.Maybe I have to much on my hands and just starting to think about alot of things.I had to click it,my dad just came in,wanted to know what I was doing.LOL.He wants the puter,as always.Do you know,Hes got a desk top puter,He turned that one off,so,He thinks whats mine is His.LOL.Well,He better think twice when I go on vaction,my puter is comming with me.LOL.Ok,still waiting for the food and I want to go to sleep.well,i think I have said enough.will be back later.Peaceout.