Feeling better

 

Hi all,how is everyone doing?Good I hope.I am doing ok,I guess,hanging in there.I admit I have been acting like a pain in the butt lately.I am sorry to all for acting like a pain in da butt,you know who you are.I love guys very much,,I just been going through so much and it was worng of me to take out on you guys.So much changing has been going in my life,even scary to think about it.I know I can be a you know what,I admit when I am worng.Its just been hard.You know I had to pay instead of 104 of my shots,because they went up,now I have to pay 300,only because,my Dr wants me to have 3 boxes worth,which that is a good thing.Its just a strugel with money,and I am sure you all know that.I didnt relize even how much I had left in the bank and I want to start putting some back.How do you just keep track of your money,how do you save.FOr the last few weeks I been a crying fest,I think I have mentioned before.Yes,I admit my life is a mess,but I do have a good loving family,who will always be there for me,Tj,I evne know you will always be there for me.My boyfriend is good to me,He neve wants to see me cry,He is always telling me,and HE knows when I am about to cry,He is saying,please dont cry.You know I am alwys there for you.I just want os much out of my life,not knowing how to go about it,scares me more than life itself.I am sure I probllay put there in my journal already.Maybe I should delet this journal,because I just dont seem to get anywere.But this week I think i am going to try and do some new things.I called my old Thereapyst,crying on Her answer maching,I was upset,because I wasnt getting anywre to find a new one and I wanted to stay in the same office,which now I am and that is taken care.She is a sweet lady,She alwys had said if I needed somehting to call Her,thats when I did,broke down and just cryed.Here I am at the age of  34 and feel like my life is going no were,see I am sure you guys have heard this before.lol.I know people just say,Just do it!!!The Nikey Shoose fraze.lol.But thats easy said than done.lol.I want to learn how to cook now,I want to show my boyfriend I can do things,that I am ready.I have a question for all of  my online buddies and my j-land peeps,what is the easyest thing you can learn how to cook.Becuase,beliveme,I want to do this and I am going to do this,I jsut have to give myself a push.Any advice would be most greatful.I hope you all had a nice weekend and I will talk with all of you later.I need to get off of here and get my sleep,even thoe I had a good much rested nap today.I am having my sister get HEr kids to make some stuff,I am doing a clouse for my brother and the family in London,I think they would lvoe somehting like that.I also want Tjs kids to do the same thing if they can draw some pics,or even color.Maybe get some of there old face things they dont want anymore and send it to me.Because,I am going to start doing this in the next few days.I lvoe you all good night and peace out.Love you to J0land,thanks for being there for me.