Just thinking,when do I not think?lol.I crack me up.lol.

Good evening everyone,

                              Hope you all are enjoying your evning.I feel kinda dumbfounded.If that is a word.lol.I feel I want to start my journal all over.lol.I cant seem to get it all worked out for me.But I will get there.I really dont want to start it all over.I know it hasnt been a year yet since I started doing my journal.I cant keep up with dates and stuff like that.But I can remember numbers,let me tell you that.At work we have to use codes,and everyone ask me what it is,because,I know them all by heart.Its like 6 or 7 digit number code.lol.I love my job,even thoe it can get frustated.But I guess that is a part of life.Even thoe I been there for almost 6 or 7 years,even part timmers who are in my dapartment,have more hours than I do and I am a part timmer.Just because I cant do certian things.Sometimes I feel out of place there.But I am blessed to have my job,plus with health insurace,which now,you have to wait like 5 or 6 months to get it,I am on the old contract,so,I already have it.Which if I didnt have it,I couldnt have afford my shots for arthitis.Rheumatoid Arthitis.I always had it when I was little,didnt start getting bad till I worked at my job.Go figure.lol.Working on them hard floors all day long,isnt good for your kness.I try to loose weight,which is good,but not always easy to do.lol.Anyways,enough about that.I was wondering,if anyone out there knows anything about a medicine called,Amatriplyn?I hope I spellled that right.I take it at night to help me sleep.For some reason,my mouth is very dry,feels like a fire cracker.lol.I think it is because of the medicine.I stoped it for a long time,but I noticed when I stoped it,that was the only thing helping me to sleep.It helps with chronic pain to.Well,I better get off of here and get some sleep.Have a nice night everyone.try and stay kool,eat some watermelon.lol.Or have a popcicle.lol.Peaceout.

Just trying to see if this wors better for me than the side bars.lol.

Hi everyone,

            I am going to try something and see if I do it this way.I want to try and put my fave journals this way instead of on the side bar.lol.Theese are all awsome journals to visit.Ok,I find an easyer way for me to do this now.I will be just adding my fave journals when I do an entry,instead of putting them on the side bar.lol.So I wil be taking them off the side bar,or just leave them there.I dont know.Be safe out there.Peaceout.I am so sorry Linda for not adding you in,maybe I am getting ahead of myself.lol.Linda,I love your journal and I am glad I am getting to you as a friend also.Smile!!!Peace.I hope I didnt forget anyone else,let me know if I did.lol.I love you guys.

Treasure Chest Full of Life

http://journals.aol.com/lsfp1960/LindasWorld/

A LITTLE BIT OF SUGAR, PLEASE...

sazzylilsmartazz

http://hometown.aol.com/xxroxymamaxx/page25.html

 

Cab's Creations

 

Just having a little bit of fun

Hi all,

       Happy Monday to everyone.Hope you all have a good week.Anything planed for your week?I am probllay not going to do much.Its to hot.Would like to go to the pool,thoe.Anyways,I have more pics to show.Its neat doing this,finding something new,like I said before.lol.Have a good week all.Be safe out there.Peaceout.

You learn soemthing new everyday>lol.

WOW!!!!

     If I hadnt said it better.lol.I learn something new everyday.lol.I wonder if this will work.Just playing around tonight.Have fun yal.Peaceout.

No more putered tonight,will get on tommrow.lol.

Its me again,I think I royally messed up with trying to figure out how to add my fave journals to my journal along with the alerts.I think I mssed up on the alerts as well,because I seem to not be getting any.lol.Even thoe I got alot this moring.Which I love seeing and reading all of the alerts.So if anyone knows what I am doing worng,please let me know.lol.Thanks.I think I am going to get back on here tonight.I am putered out.lol.Have a safe evening and have fun.Peaceout.

Frustrated and tired

Hi everyone,

             I need some help,how you add other journals to your onw?I think I did it worng,when I was editing them,I did one right,but,the others are worng.So what am I doing worng?lol.I hope everyone is having a good weekend.I am kinda bumed,hours are geting cut back,and just kinda having a not so good day.One of my co workers was saying,you cant work 8 hours,you cant even get it all done in 4 hours.But I didnt say anything,I was just leaving and getting off.She aint perfect either.I guess I am just a little depressed.Bug I guess you have to sometimes just let roll off your back.lol.Anyways,if yall can help me figure this out,how to add my favorite journals to my journal.Thank you.And I know I need to make changes in my colors.lol.Have a good one.Peaceout.

Thanks for sharing this with me,thought I would add it to my journal,if you dont mind.

 

 

A LITTLE TALK WITH JESUS


A little talk with Jesus
How it smooths the rugged road,
How it cheers and helps me onward
When I faint beneath my load.

When my heart is crushed with sorrow
And my eyes with tears are dim,
There is naught can yield me comfort
Like a little talk with Him.


Though my way is often dreary
And my walk is weak and slow,
A little talk with Jesus
Tells me all I need to know.

And He answers me so gently
In a soft and loving tone,
"I am with you always
You will never be alone.


He tells me that He loves me,
And paid the ransom for my soul,
Now He is my brother
His love has made me whole.

I cannot live without Him
His love is all I know,
A little talk with Jesus
Gives me all I need to grow.


Oh, I often feel impatient
And I mourn His long delay,
For I never can be settled
While He yet remains away.

So I wait a little longer
For His own appointed time,
And I glory in the knowledge
That such hope is ever mine.


In my Father's perfect dwelling
Where the many mansions be,
I will daily talk with Jesus
And He there will talk with me.

 

Just thinking,always thinking.....

Hi everyone,

                I hope you all are having a good weekend.I am kinda glad this week is over with.lol.It hasnt been a good one.I havent had time to spend with my boyfriend due to work has been crazy and He got into an accident,but He is fine,someone hit Him from behind,so it wasnt His falt.I miss Him sooooo much.I am worried about my Mom,She still isnt doing to good,Her breathing heavy is worrying me.She been trying to get an app with the doctor and She had and I been calling none stop since yesterday.Plus once you get in there,you wait for hours and hours.Even thoe my Mom and Dad dont have health insurance,I do from my work.Please say a prayer for my Mom and I could use one to.   :)   I been kinda stressed out lately,my shoulder is doing better,I been kinda doing some excerise with it,while at work to and when I am home.Why is people say,the more you get older,the more aches and pains you have.Sometimes I just dont udnersand life.How do you ever stop worrying about everyhting?How do you just start to enjoy life,have fun,laugh,smile.I was also told once,if you have a laugh a day,it makes your day more joyable,something like that.lol.It just ponders me alot,because,here I am 34,and feel like I am always mentiong and saying this alot.But I just dont know how to pick up my life and start living for me.If anyone understands what I am going through.I should be blessed,I am,but,you know you have down days.I know there are worse people off than me.I will admit,I am happy,than I am not happy,just dont understand.I want to be there for people,encourge people,make them smile,let them have a laugh.I do belive that God gave me a gift,even thoe I doubt Him alot.He gave me the gift of something special I can give back to people out there and I want to.Or do I even know what I am saying.lol.Everyone would tell me,I am a sweet person,and ack,I dont want to hear it.lol.I am n ot perfect,I made plenty of mistakes in my life.But,PLEASE TELL ME,HOW DO YOU JUST LET GO AND BE HAPPY?Sorry about that caps.lol.Just had to scram that out.Anyways,I better get off of here and get a few things done.Be safe and have fun,love you all.Peaceout.

Never knew that was there,thanks Jaymi!!!

Jaymi,

     Hey,wanted to thank you for showing me how to change colors.This is so neat,never even thought you could do that.lol.Guess I will be playing around with the colors.lol.Let me know if you cant read my entrys and maybe you can tell me what is a good color.Thank you so much.I hope you had a good day and hope you will have a good night.I need to get off of here,get ready for bed soon.I dont like getting up early and going to work early.But its my job and I I am blessed to have one.They is always changing my hours.lol.One munite,I am working early in the moring,next I am working in the after noon.lol.Have a blessed night.

 

Love,

Amanda

Thank you and God bless you all!!!

Hello to the Healing Garden,

                       I hope everyone is doing ok.I just wanted to thank you all for your prayers and encourgment.Note,I am not a good speller.lol.I also wanted to thank,not sure who created The Healing Garden,but I wanted to thank you for this place online.This is something I had been looking for a long time.It helps to know there are others out there in the world,who have some of the same problems and who dont have some of the same problems.It helps so much to talk to eachother,to be there for eachoter,to pray for one another.I will admit I have been dealing with alot on my own,specillay depression,arthitis among other things.I just relize I am not alone and wanted to say thank you so much.I thank God for Him to find me this place online.I have recenly just started seeing a psycalgist and a thereapyst,slowly working things out and trying to make my life ebtter.You all have been a big help,so I just wanted to say thank you and you all are a blessing for making The Healing Garden a wodnerful place for eveyrone to come to.So I know,I am not alone,and you arent alone either!!!Thank you and God bless you all!!!

With love,

Amanda

Update

Hi all,

         Just got back fromt he doctors,you wouldnt belive how long I was in there.Oh my goodness.lol.My Dad was very patience for waiting for me.Since I dont drive.Get this,my app was at 11:15,I was there a little before my time and I didnt get out till after 1,didnt get home till almost 2.I am tired.lol.I dont know why it takes so long for my atritis doctor.They make you wait for ever.Anyways,I had to get an xray of my shoulder,than they gave me a shot of cortazone,and he poked my shoulder with this little,that looks like a shot.He said I had a little touch of Tendenitis.I know a little of it.He said if it gets worse or if when they find out the results,I have to go b ack in and see Him and get thereapy,which I really need to pay another doctor bill.lol.Its like an never ending sotry with that.lol.But I wanted to thank you all for your prayers and encourgment and thank you Nuk,for oyur added comments and encourgment.I am so tired.The cortazone shot,only helped for a munite.lol.Or is it just me?lol.And by the way,I got my post cards from Sugarsweet and someone else,I feel bad I cant even think of the name now.Sorrry,my bad.lol.But thank you guys for the post cards.I hope oyu all got yours.I guess I better get off of here and get a few things done.I have to get up early tommrow,my coworker called and said She will pick me up in the moring and I have to be ready at 5.lol.Wont start work till 6.But good thing,I only have 4 hours.lol.Thanks guys,I love you all.Peaceout.

My Shoulder is hurting me so bad.

Hi all,

       Hope all is doing ok.I am doing,no,I am not doing ok.Dont know why I am feeling down tonight.My shoulder is hurting e so bad right now,I want to cry.I belive it is my arthitis.Because I can feel the pain right at my shoulder all the way down to my hand.It is a good thing,I am seeing my Arthitis Doctor tommrow moring.I think sometimes I feel I have carpool tunnel,because I do so much with my hands.But my shoulder,I know,that is Arthitis.I want to cry so much that it is hurting.I feel pretty good other wise,than my shoulder.Even when my boyfriend would hug me,it will hurt when He would touch it.That aint right.I feel like I am always complaing,I am sorry if that comes out that way.But this journal,is like my Diary.Even thoe yal get a peak at it.lol.Anyways,please say a prayer for my shoulder and that I can talk to my Doctor and tell Him whats going on.Hes a good Doc,just,sometimes He makes me neversou,dont know why.But usllay I will write stuff down on paper.I have to go,I am hurting all over my shouldere right down to my hand.I am sorry guys.I love you guys for being there for me.Have a nice evening.Peaceout.

I think I am all putered out.lol.

Hi all,

     Wow,I been on this thing to long today,all weekend.lol.But wanted to get some things done.I finally added a bunch of pics to my profile,were I had mentioned before,I couldnt and now I can.But now I need to get off of here and get some things done for tommrow.I need to write out a few cards in the mail box.Hope you all had a good Monday,Peaceout.

I got a hair cut!!!Woooooooooohooooooooo

 

                 

 

                   Hope all had a good weekend.Mine was ok.Today is a good day.I just got a hair cut,which I needed one and I love it.I always try to not cut it and let grow long ,but,when I do that,it really gets on my nerves,so,it was time for a cut.lol.Since my Mom was getting a hair cut,I got one to.I will have to get someone to take a pic of me and put it in here.It is short,the way I like it,so I wont have to do anything to it.lol.Just comb it and go.lol.Maybe put a little jell in it,but,I really dont like doing that either.But I used to when it was longer,put alot of jell and use alot of hair spray.Like that movie called,Hairspray.lol.Feels so good,I can run my hands through it.lol.Well,I hope everyone will have a good week.I know Mondays are usllay a bummer,but,try and have a good day.lol.I love you all.Be safe out there.

Finally getting some things done!!!!!!!

Well I did finally get something done today.lol.Hoever,I did do some cleaning around the house.But I finally added pictures into my profile,which I couldnt before and now I can.Wooooooooohooooooooooo.I wonder if I can add all my pics onto my profile,than delete them,the ones I saved,which was alot.lol.I been catching up on a few things this weekend.Is it a good idea to delete the pics I saved after adding them onto my profile?ANyways,my medicine is kicking in and I cant think stright.lol.Hope you all had a good weekend and will talk with you all tommrow.Since I have tommrow off to.lol.Blessings to you all.Peaceout.

Depressed

Hi all,

         Now I am really depressed,I know I had the weekend off and also tommrow and wed,my hours are being cut again.I hate that.We have so many full timmers in our dapartment and we have part timmers to.So,what am I going to do?Oh well,guess I am going to have to grinn and bare it.lol.And some of the part timmers have a few more hours than I do,which isnt right,only because they know how to do more than I do,like frying donuts and making them.So I dont know how to do that,they dont want me doing that because I will hurt myself,which they tryed me once and I burnt myself.lol.I am just very depressed right now,becase of more less hours.Maybe I should take up another job,or wish there was something I can do at home to make a little more money.I was going to start a beading jewrly,but,I dont know.I love making beaded jewrly.I guess everything happends for a reason.lol.I will just have to pray about this.Have a Haappy Sunday all.

I am finally letting it all go,but will it help?

I am just sitting here thinking about alot of things,and dont know what to think of everything,how do you know what the right thing to do in your life is?How do you just stop thinking about all of what you have to do?Some people would tell me,just because I am young,I am 34 and I dont have to worry about anything.Worng.I worry,I worry about alot of things.I could probllay sit here all day and night long,tell you all about my life,but,you dont want to hear the boring lifr I have.lol.I know I should be blessed that I have alot in my life and I am,but,I guess you have your down days to.But for me,its like a roller coaster,I have fears in my life that I want to let go and start living for myself and be Me,the Me that I want to be.I have always been so protective by my parents,they always want me to be safe and I want to get out there and do things.Like I will tell you all this,I have always wanted to learn how to ride the metro buss,I am so afarid to be alone,oh my goodness,I cant belive I just said that.Even scares me to say that.Because I have this protective sheild,my Mom and Dad,I know they want the best of me.They are good parents.I just want to start living for Me and to tell you the truth,I really dont know how.Yikes,see,maybe this weekend thing wasnt such a good thing.lol.It makes you think and wonder.I am scared of so many htings in my life,I have so many doubts and fears.But I love this journal thing,it has been a good thing for me,I had it as private at one time,but I was like,come now,if you going to have a journal online,peopel want to read about other peoples lives.Which is a good thing.I can remember a time when I wasnt like this,when I wasnt so scared,when I wanted to make things hapend.Now its like,I dont want to get out there,I am scared.I do want to get out there,but how,how do you jsut stop worrying and let it all out and just go with the flow?I can talk about this all I want,thats the thing,I can talk,but,nothing moves,I dont move.You see what I am saying?My parents arent going to be around forever.I am 34,still living at home,dont know how to cook and dont know how to drive.At one point in time,I would have loved to learn how to drive,but,now,I dont want to.But would like to learn how to ride the metro buss,by myself.Maybe the first time with someone I know,than when I am comfortable,by myself.How do just be happy with your life?Is there such a thing about being happy?I think about that alot.Being happy,and what it means.I try so hard,maybe thats it,I try to hard.Its like theres this yearning inside of me wants to get out and doesnt know how.I think I will stop here,need to get off and get a few thigns done.I think this was a good weekend for me to just stop and think.Anyways,I will come back here later.Peaceout till now.

A question?

Hi all,

     I just wanted to ask anyone out there if they know were I could get address of the soliders,I would like to write to them.If anyone knows,I would be most greatful.Goodnight all.Have a good weekend.

My weekend off!!!! Wooooooozhooooooooooooo

Hi all,

        I know,its a little big,but its the way I wanted it.lol.THis weekend is my weekend off.Wooooooooohooooooo.I have no clue what I am going to do,probllay just hang out,keep an eye on my Mom.She is somewhat better,but,not all there yet.Thank you all for praying for HEr.I am greatful for all your prayers and encourgment.I love you guys so much.I am sitting here wondering what should I do.I have tommrow and Sunday off.Its been a long time since I had a weekend off.I know I wantt o get some things done.I am trying to start a scrap book for my neices and nephews who live in London.That is my brother,they are misonarys over there.They love it over there,but,I also know they miss home to.But my brother is being lead were GOd is leading Him to be.So its the right thing to do.You know its funny,I need to put a pic in here of my neice and nephews from London,because they all have red hair,yup,read hair.lol.I think they got it from my sister,because my brother,He doesnt have red hair.lol.Anyways,I will be catching up on some much needed rest.lol.I dont need to rest,I am to young for that.lol.But sometimes my arthitis kicks my butt.lol.Well,I better end this,because,I am waiting for my boyfriend to come and get me.I will write more later.Usllay when I have a weekend off,it bums me out,because I have nothing to do,but this time I do.lol.Alot of times I get depressed and feeling sorry for myself,I am trying to kick that in the butt.lol.Anyways,I hope you all have a great weekend and I shall be back latter.Peaceout.

Feeling Super Dooper.Hehe.

Hi all,its been a while since I written in my journal,how ever,I cant be on here long,due to the fact that I have to get up early to be at work at 6.Ack.Only good thing about that is,I get off at 10.Woooooooooohoooooooooo.I work tommrow and Friday from 6 to 10,than I am Sat.Its been a long while since I had a Sat off,dont remember when was the last time I had one off.That day is going to be my day of rest and probllay helping my Mom out.If you all would say a prayer for Her,I would be most greatful.She is not doing so well.She is very sick,hasnt been eating much and just been laying in bed.I am very worried about HEr.I love my Mom so much and my Dad.My Mom has just been having alot of sickeness lately.She needs lots of prayers.Thank you.Other than that,I am doing ok.Still trying to figure out some things in my life,but,hoping I will get them all taken care of.I gotta say,sometimes,I still wish I was a little kid.lol.Did I say that?Yes I did.But we all ahve to grow up and make our own lives,and thats what scares me the most.Anyways,I am going to head off of here and get my beatiuy sleep.lol.Hope you all have a wodnerul night,May God bless you all and keep you all safe.One more thing I wanted to add,I think we all need to say a prayer for our troops,soliders,who are protecting us everywere,not just in Iruq,I know,I soelled that worng.lol.I guess you can tell I am getting sleepy.But I wanted to let everyone know,they need out prayers to susport them.I would love to write to one of them or any of them,but,wouldnt know how to get an address.Anyways,Peaceout.And if anyone does know were I can get an address,I would like to know.Thanks a bunch.Love you all.Smile,God loves you all.

Its nice to meet you all!!!

Hi there,how are you?It is nice to meet you all.I have been searching for somehting like this on the net for a long time.I am glad I found this.My name is Amanda,I am a 34 year old female,who still lives at home with my parents,I dont have any kids,but,I have a bunch of neices and nephews.lol.Everyone is always asking me how old is this one or that one and I am like,you asking me,I can barley know how old I am.lol.But its werid,at work,I am good at remembering numbers and everyone is always asking me what code is this one and I know it by heart.Werid,I know.And I am a werid person,but,what others tell me,I am a kind,caring,loving person,who is shy.I strugle with depression,I think it kinda runs in our family on my moms side and on my Dads.I have Arthitis really bad in the knees and now in my shoulder.I take shots called Hurmia,which helps,I also have Porises,used to be so bad,it covered all over my body and my face.So the shots help with my arthitis and Porises.I used to have this really,HUGE spot on my knee and now it is gone.I am thankful for that.I strugle with so much in my life,I have so many fears I want to get rid of and finally start living my life the way I want to.I hate it.I should be greatful that I have a family,who loves me,I have a good boyfriend who is always there for me.But its just that I still empty inside and I dont know what to do about it.I am scared that I will always have someone to depend on,and I want to be able to one day to have no one to depend on.You think my life sounds pretty boring?lol.no it isnt,I have my good days,mostly right now,bad days,because,I am still searching to find that void in my life,if you know what I mean.I love making people smile and laugh and I love giving hugs.At work I am always giving hugs.I think everyone needs a hug now and than,along with a smile.Well,thank you for stoping by to meet me,it was nice to meet you all.Thank you for making this journal up for people that are hurting or for what ever.I think your doing a great job.I am a christian as well,just strugle alot in everyday life.Thank you and God bless you all.

Amanda

Just doing some posting.lol.

I saw this in another journal,hope you dont mind,I copyed it and put it into my journal,thanks.

 

           FOOD FOR THOUGHT

1- Don't confuse the person you now are -
    with the person you can become.

2- Failing at something doesn't mean you won't succeed. It just
    means you have to do something differently.

3- We cannot grow without experiencing difficulties; God
     is wise enough to know that.

4- Listen to what you say, and the tone you use when you say it.

5- When rumors reach you - become as deaf.

6- A new day = a new way.

7- Behind an angry person is a hurting person.
  
8- Read once in awhile; you'll be surprised
    at what you don't know.

9- God cannot tend to our problems
    if we're still holding tightly to them.

10- If you must change yourself- change the inner man first.

11- Fear only has as much power as we give it.

Theese are not my thoughts,this is another person from another great journal,and I just wanted to share them,thanks

 

            FOOD FOR THOUGHT

1- Hang tight to your dreams. Never let yourself think "this can never happen." Everything is possible.  It is only our fear that keeps us from moving forwards.

2- Always remember that you're stronger than you believe yourself to be.

3- If you're needing love...give some away.

4- If you're going to cry, cry over somebody besides yourself.

5- Be generous today. Hand out lots of hugs, kisses, and
  "Great job!"

6- Patience is to faith - what dew is to a rose.

7- Be as quick to forgive yourself as you do others.

8- Listen to what you say-and the tone you use
    when you say it.

9- The words we speak reveal who is Lord of
    our heart and life.
   
10- High roads give pleasure, but low roads teach us what we
      need to learn in life. God, being wise, provided us with both.

11- The tighter we hold on to people we love,
      the more likely it is we'll lose them.
     

12- Never forget we believe what we tell ourselves.


13- Discouragement is the devil's favorite tool.
     ********************************************************

 Have a TERRIFIC day, guys & dolls, and when you dream-
 DREAM BIG!

May God give you smiles today and always

Hi all,         hope all is well,I am doing ok here,been feeling better.But had a friend that upseted me last night,She has alot of problems,I think I had mentioned HEr once in my journal.I just had enough and finally told HEr,I am dont,I was done helping Her.But than today at work,we work together and I told HEr afte a while when we werent speaking to eachother,told HEr I love Her and gave HEr a hug and that I just cared for Her.I dont know what else to do.She is meantley changeld,I wont say the other word,I am sure you all know what that other word is.I just dont like using it.I think we are all slow,because,I know I am and I admit that.She maybe alot slower than I am.Sometimes She makes me so mad,that She wants things happend,than,She turns them down.Anyways,She just needs prayers.Her name is Tiffany.Thanks guys for listning to me.I have my own problems,trying to work them out.it is hard,let me tell you.But we wont go there till another time.I need to get off of here and get some things done.I love yoy all and have a wonderful weekend,even thoe its almost over.lol.Peaceout and blessing to you.Be safe!!!

I just dont know anymore

Hi all,its me,hehe,havent been here for a few days,so,thought I would drop a line and say hi and talk about a little bit of whats going on in my life.I am doing some what better,no all there yet.I just cant seem to grasp the menaing of life,you know?I am sure you all have been there.I just want to have fun,be happy,share good things with other people.But just dont know how to do that.I want to stop feeling so depressed all the time,actullay,I been feeling good about that lately.Just thoes dag on fears keep getting the best of me and I ahve so many worries.Bills,how to keep them up,which they are just doctor bills.I am trying and wanting to learn how to be more responsability.But how?And how do you just stop feeling so stressed out.I just dont get it.Would love some feed back,some info,would love to hear what you al have to say about your life,about getting rid of stress,about how to live happy,and be you,be the person you need to be.Because,I want that,more than anything.Just dont really know how to get it all out there.I see people out there in the world,I look at them,some are sad,but alot of em,I see with smily faces.How do they do that?How do they keep it up?I want so much for me in my life,feel like I am running out of time.Anywyas,I better end this,because,I need to get off of here and get a few things done.I have to go to owrk early tommrow moring at 6,good thing about itis,only have 4 hours,not that I dont like hours being cut.lol.I wish there was another way I can do a side job at home,butprobllay not.Only thing I can come up with is making beaded jewrley,I love to do that on my spare time.I hope you all have a blessed weekend and a safe one.Peaceout.Blessings to all.Love you all.

feeling stressed

Hi yall,

      No wonder I stress out so much,just so much going on.I feel like a basket case.lol.I feel like I have a werid family,but I ove em so  much.So much I would like to get off of my chest about everything about my whole life,family,ect.But this is not the right time.I am just strressed.I am going to call my Dr tonight,tell Him what I have been going through,how I been delaing with htings.I feel I need to tell Him on the phone,because,when I see Him,He only sees me for about 15 munites,maybe 20.I like Him and Hes a good Dr.I would write it down on paper,but,feel He would rather have me say out loude,and I dont like doing that.lol.I tell ya,how I can I make peace with myself,if so much is going in in my life around me?I havent even had any comments lately.Whats the deal?I am not loved?I do get comments,and I am greatful for them.I love you all for caring for me.Blkness girl,you is the one who is giving me comments all the time and I think you need to make your own journal.I think it owuld be a good one.I do thank everyone else for all your wonderful comments.I am so greatful for them.I love you all.You all are very special to me and I love you so much.Sometimes I feel like giving up so much,but I know there something is out there waiting for me.What I dont know what.ANyways,I am going to get off of here and get to bed.I am getting tired.Hope you all sleep wel.Have a nice night and I will back tommrow.You think it would be a good idea to call Him and tell Him before I see Him tommrow,my Dr and tell Him whats been going on?So He would take care of it more and know whats going?Well,I tihnk I am going to do it anyways.lol.Love you all.Peace Out.By the way,you thank you so much J-land budie for this pic.I ask for so many taggers,I forget who they are form,sorry.But you all do such a wonderful job.Thank you so much and good night.I could really use some encourgment.Thanks.And I know there more people out there worse off then I am.

Feeling better

 

Hi all,how is everyone doing?Good I hope.I am doing ok,I guess,hanging in there.I admit I have been acting like a pain in the butt lately.I am sorry to all for acting like a pain in da butt,you know who you are.I love guys very much,,I just been going through so much and it was worng of me to take out on you guys.So much changing has been going in my life,even scary to think about it.I know I can be a you know what,I admit when I am worng.Its just been hard.You know I had to pay instead of 104 of my shots,because they went up,now I have to pay 300,only because,my Dr wants me to have 3 boxes worth,which that is a good thing.Its just a strugel with money,and I am sure you all know that.I didnt relize even how much I had left in the bank and I want to start putting some back.How do you just keep track of your money,how do you save.FOr the last few weeks I been a crying fest,I think I have mentioned before.Yes,I admit my life is a mess,but I do have a good loving family,who will always be there for me,Tj,I evne know you will always be there for me.My boyfriend is good to me,He neve wants to see me cry,He is always telling me,and HE knows when I am about to cry,He is saying,please dont cry.You know I am alwys there for you.I just want os much out of my life,not knowing how to go about it,scares me more than life itself.I am sure I probllay put there in my journal already.Maybe I should delet this journal,because I just dont seem to get anywere.But this week I think i am going to try and do some new things.I called my old Thereapyst,crying on Her answer maching,I was upset,because I wasnt getting anywre to find a new one and I wanted to stay in the same office,which now I am and that is taken care.She is a sweet lady,She alwys had said if I needed somehting to call Her,thats when I did,broke down and just cryed.Here I am at the age of  34 and feel like my life is going no were,see I am sure you guys have heard this before.lol.I know people just say,Just do it!!!The Nikey Shoose fraze.lol.But thats easy said than done.lol.I want to learn how to cook now,I want to show my boyfriend I can do things,that I am ready.I have a question for all of  my online buddies and my j-land peeps,what is the easyest thing you can learn how to cook.Becuase,beliveme,I want to do this and I am going to do this,I jsut have to give myself a push.Any advice would be most greatful.I hope you all had a nice weekend and I will talk with all of you later.I need to get off of here and get my sleep,even thoe I had a good much rested nap today.I am having my sister get HEr kids to make some stuff,I am doing a clouse for my brother and the family in London,I think they would lvoe somehting like that.I also want Tjs kids to do the same thing if they can draw some pics,or even color.Maybe get some of there old face things they dont want anymore and send it to me.Because,I am going to start doing this in the next few days.I lvoe you all good night and peace out.Love you to J0land,thanks for being there for me.

Having a blast on the 4th of July

Wow,wehad such a really good time yesterday,it was a great time as you can see in the pic above.t was a time of sharing good laugh,and good memeories.My brother was handing out fire worksmthey just had a blast.Earlyer that day,I also let then all get into my beads,they was just going at it.Making neckless and  braclets.Now I have to go through my beads one day and strighten them up.lol.But not anytime soom.lol.I thought they was going to get some crabs,which,I am not to crazy about them,dont like them.I rather have a good crab cake and french fries,which sounds good about now.lol.My sister was putting up the brithday gift She got for Dad,which was one of thoes swing things you can lay down on,knew the name yesterday,but,dont know it now.lol.The kids loved it.I have tons of pics to share from the 4 th of July and I need to send them all to my brother in London,I am sure He would love to see them.I really miss Him.And if you culd say a prayer for them over there,Hes having a hard time being a missonary,He loves His job,but the people over there arent happy with Him and with what He is doing.This is were He choose to be missornary over in London,thoes people need the Lord,and they are really giving my brother and His family a hard time and my sister n law is pregnat and She doesnt need that.But there not giving up,tjat is what they they want to do,share the good new and bring people to Christ.Hes had alot of health problems from worrying and being so stressed,worrying about His family and the kids dont get to have fun and play with the kids over there.Not like here.Its a beatiful place,and He say people are not all bad over there and the kids do have some friends.But mostly they just do family things.I woul b e greatful if you could say a prayer for them.Hey you J-landers out there,I have a question for you all,I notice in you journals that whe ou share some family pics, there is a way of putting them together and not just adding one,if you know what I mean.How do you do do that?Is it something you can do in the photo bucket?I would like to know.thank you so much.I think I will have to go back to bed for a few munites,I am typing so bad and have to catch my mistakes.lol.You all have a wonderful day.Be safe out there and I love you all.Boy,I think we had so much rain,that we dont need no more.lol.Peace out.

frustated

Hi all,I really got to get to bed,dont know why,but,been tired most of the day,well,yeah,I know why,its been a crazy week and I been sooooooooooooooooooooo very depressed.I know its probllay due to the fact its a women thing.We all women know what go through.lol.But this time,its been really bad and it hasnt usllay been this bad.One thing,been cooped up in this house most of all weekend,due to fact plans got messed up.And you know how when your home and you cant go anywere and you start to thinking about things?Which I have been,just really dont know how to fix it all.And I will admit,boyfriend and I have been kinda arguing,almost broke up and we both know we didnt want that,I know He didnt want that.He trys,but He really just doesnt know how I feel about things.I guess when all this came up,the fact that our plans got messed up,we cant spend the 4th together,which we hardly do,so,dont even know what I am getting all upset about.But its more than that and I want to tell Him everything how I feel,that I am depressed,I am sad,and I am scared.Maybe its worng for me t think that because so many other people out here have worse problems than me.I been crying so much for the last few days.I hate the fact that He is always bringing up that He does so much for me,and I know that,and I am greatful for that.But I feel if He loves me,He shouldnt do that,what do you think?Maybe I have been shelfish.I dont know.It was for the first time tonight on the phone we always say we love eachother when we get off and He said it,but,I did say it,but,I kinda didnt mean it,because I was mad,I was angry and I was upset.I know He doesnt understand me.But what am I to do?We almost broke up.I didnt feel like talking,is that a crime?I want so much more out of life and He doesnt know,He knows I want marriage and I am abou to just say look,lets take a break.I dont want a break,or maybe I am scared to take a break away from Him,because I do depend on Him.But I love Him so much and I dont know what to do.Which scares me more than anything.I have not yet come to live my life,my own life,to be indapent,which that scares me more than anything in the world.I am not happy,yes,He makes me happys,He does so much for me,when I am needed some were,He is there.I just dont know what to do.I am at my wits end.But,I am going to end this here.I liked to know what you all think I should do.I could use some advice.Was thinking of sitting down tonight and writting a letter.We both get off the same time tommrow,both work at the same place,which is a good thing,it works out.So what do you think I need to do?Its so hard to talk about my feelings face to face to HIm or to anyone.I am so good at letters.lol.You know what is so funny.My Mom knows me like a book,but eerytime She would ask me if somehting was worng and She knew somehting was worng,I would tell Her I am ok.I just dont want Her to worry,but,She will,She is a mother.She once said,when Shes in Her grave,She will still worry.lol.I have good parents.I am blessed to have good parents who love me.Thank you all for listning.I am so tired from crying,so,I am going to try and get some sleep but try and write a letter.Will let you all know what will happend tommrow.I love you all.Be safe and know God lvoes you to.Peaceout.

letting it all hang out once more.lol.

I had alot of thinking to do,which I am going to try and sit here to put this as nicly as I can.I cant belive to think I have been so gulable to let people walk over,tl let people tell me what to do,thinking that I am this horable person,that I am not a christian,a child of God.Please,they dont know me,they dont know the kind person I can be,they have never gotton to know me,they dont want to know me,all they want to know about me is that I am this nad person,that I am evil,I crush peoples hearts.What ever.that is not what I do.I am not that kind of person.They can keep on and keep on trying to get to me,scare me do what ever they want to do.It woant work no more.I am a big person,I can fight my own battles.I am not scared anymore,thats all they was trying to do is scare me,tll me they didnt need to hear whats in my journal,what is in my journal,will stay in my journal.Of all the pettyness and the lies and everyone thinking you are incoent,you are not,and I dont care what your friend thinks,what she can do to me.This has all gotton to me,because I have had such a bad week and I am just letting it out.THIS IS MY JOURNAL,I CAN DO AND WRITE WHAT EVER I WANT.I think if people are so petty and want to relive in the past,than there not actullay over there past.For me,I made peace with the people I love in my life,they have forgiven me and we have move on.I love my family,I have a good family,who is there for me,cares about me,doesnt judge me,doesnt think I am a bad person.I have wonderful friends.No,I am not perfect,I made plenty of mistakes,even asked for forgivness.I done my part.You can sit there and think I am stupid,my journal is stupid,you can sit there and think the only reason I have this up is for some people in my family to read it,but thats not true.I have other deep feelings inside of me,that I am trying to let go.I really dont need to explain any of this,but feel the need I need to.Not just for anyone,but for me.I know what is going on,I finally have figured it all out and I aint scared no more.I was just stupid,to think that people can get a hold of and I would listen.BUT NO MORE,I SAY,NO MORE.I am moving on with my life,I am happy,makin peace with my life,I have all I need in my life.

Let our troops know we are hear for them,pray for them!!!

Hi all,had to put this in here,to show resepct to our troops,this was written by a good christian online friend.I think we need to take time out everyday and pray for our troops,not only on 4th of July.But everday.All of our troops,the ones oversea,our police officers,women and men,if I have forgotton anyone,please let me know.thanks.Was written by Graces1952

 

We should never forget to support our troops.    They make tremendous sacrifices for us.  Tho this is written in the masculine gender, we also remember the many women ( such as my cousin) who serve!

 

A LITTLE PERSPECTIVE

 

Your alarm goes off, you hit the snooze and sleep for another 10 minutes. He stays up for days on end.
-- --
You take a warm shower to help you wake up. He goes days or weeks without running water.
-- --
You complain of a "headache", and call in sick. He gets shot at, as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.
-- --
You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends. He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.
-- --
You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket. He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.
-- --
You talk trash on your "buddies" that aren't with you. He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.
-- --
You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls. He walks the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.
-- --
You complain about how hot it is. He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.
-- --
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong. He does not get to eat today.
-- --
You make your bed and wash your clothes. He wears the same things for months, but makes sure his weapons are clean.
-- --
You go to the mall and get your hair redone. He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.
-- --
You are angry because your class ran 5 minutes over. He is told he will be held an extra 2 months.
----
You call your girlfriend and set a date for that night. He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.
-- --
You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday. He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.
-- --
You roll your eyes as a baby cries. He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet.
-- --
You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything. He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own government and remembers why he is fighting.
-- --
You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of the men like him. He hears the gun fire and bombs.
-- --
You see only what the media wants you to see. He sees the bodies lying around him.
-- --
You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't. He does what he is told.
-- --
You stay at home and watch TV. He takes whatever time he is given to call and write home, sleep, and eat.
-- --
You crawl into your bed, with down pillows, and try to get comfortable. He crawls under a tank for shade and a 5 minute nap, only to be woken by gun fire
-- --
You sit there and judge him, saying the world is a worse place because of men like him. If only there were more men like him.

 

If you support your troops.

Its just been a bad day all together,been a bad week to.Wish it was all over.

Today has not been a very good day at all,not a good week either.All I feel like I want to do is hide under a big huge rock and nver,never,never,ever come out.That is just how I feel,I guess it will pass.I am hoping it will pass,because its not such a good feeling right now.I feel like I want to give up everything I have,my boyfriend and jsut let it all go,or maybe I just need a break.I love Him and He is a really good to me,but theres more than meets the eye.It seems like,every year around this time,I look forward to spending the 4th of July with my boyfreind and something,somehting always happends.Somehting at work,someone wants to spend the 4th with there family and I can understand that,and His day off is Wed and it is always changed,because He is not important,other people are more important than what we want to do.I have had it,but theres more to than that.I know He loves me,I know He is always there for me.Nut I am tired,He doesnt know my needs,okay,well,maybe He does know my needs,but I feel like my needs are on the back burner,like getting married.I think I am actullay going to have to just sit down,think about things,take a breather.If He really loves me like He says He does and I know it,but,I want a life,I want marriage,which I dont think He is ready for that and I am finally comming to relize that.Maybe we do need a break up,time away from eachother,to see what we actullay both want in our lives.He is always saying if something were ever to happend like that,He wouldnt know what He would do.Well,somehting has to be done,He needs to know,I am not getting any younger,and I want a marriage,a marriage with Him.He thinks I am a child,I am sure alot of people out there probllay think I am.I am jsut a big kid at heart,who likes to have fun,who doesnt like to hear about bad things happening.I love my boyfriend,I think that I am comming to relize I am scared to leave Him,thinking that He wont come back to me.Maybe thats what I need,if He doesnt come back or not,than I would how He feels.I am not going to do anything right now,not today,but maybe soon.So if you all have any advice out there,I would really like to hear it.Peaceout.

 

I also want to add,that I am just so sick and tired of a certian person out there who they think can scare me and try to get people on me,thinking they can threaten me,they can do what ever they want to do,they threaten me,because,if you really want to know somehting,I have people in high places to.And the certian person,you are not so icoent.You and your people dont scare me,like I said.My goush,I was so dumb founded to belive and listning to you to take my jpurnal in private.No way,not happening in a long time.If you think my journal is out to hurt you,than by all means,dont read it,do go to it.Than it wouldnt hurt you.I have a God given right to do what ever I want and feel like doing.You can think what ever you want to think about me and my family,I will listen to you no more.You lie about so many things.God will deal with you one day.I wish you would just stop comming to my journal,it has no containing to you.I have every right and power to do and write what ever I want to say in my journal.This is a place were I can come and let go of day to day stuff.I think you seriously need to move on and get over it.I am,but everytime I try,things come up.Fake names ect,ect,ect.If you want to scare me,thraten me,thinking you have higher people to get me,hey,you know what,I have people to.You must think I am really stupid to belive what you say.I am a big girl,I can handle myself and I am not scared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!