Thursday, August 30, 2007

Lets try this again.

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Before I start I would like to ask if I had anyone of you alls address,could you please send it to me again,I have miss placed some.thanks.

Hi all,

How is everyone?Good I hope.I am good,but I am frustated about a few things.For one,my puter,they told me it would be done today,how ever,its not done,it will be done in a few hours today,but,Boyfriend has waitied long enough for them to call me and let me know when to pick it up,they say they close at 9,I am not oging to go out that late and pick it up,i will be in bed.LOL.You all dont know how much I miss my puter.Wanting to put pics up,ect.Yesterday,I went to do sevral entry and wouldnt let me save.So I gave up.Yesterday was a long day,also had to order a Restore Cd for my puter,they will be putting in a protetion virous on my puter,so,no miss haps there.I probllay cold go get my Dad to get my puter tommrow,but,will just wait till Sat.Boyfriend works late tommrow.

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Bad enough I had to tell Him He has to take me to work in the moring.My Boyfriend has ben taking me to work all week.So He better be glad.Oh yeah,i gues you all can tell I am a little frustated with Him.Well,I am.I will get there in a bit.At this point time,I dont care what is said.My Dad made me upset yesterday of some things He said about some people in my life who are no longer in my life.What He said,I had to be nice and I am like,Excuse me?I went off,yes,I did.He has no clue what went on.I am tired of dreading up the past,when I have let it go.For some reasone He didnt.Like its all my falt,I done everything worng,I hurt peole.well let me tell you something.I HAVE BEEN HURT TO AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I BEEN HURT.But,I am a better person today of all the things I have learned.I am not perfect,I made many mistakes,yes,I hurt you,BUT YOU HURT ME TO.I am tired of sitting here,being the one who thinks I have never been hurt.For crying out loude,I cant take back what I said.And for someone who keeps on telling me to forgive,I dont see someone comming to me and doing the same thing,but,yet,was emailing me rude emails.To much hurt and pain has gone between us.Yes,we do need to forgive,but forgivness,doesnt mean you have you to let the person back into your life.It seems like,even if I say anything,it will just got shot back in my face,like I dont something worng always.I want to let it go,I want to let it all go.

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Why cant this familyy get along,even if it doesnt mean,hanging out and doing stuff?????????Why?I am growing up,learning things I never learned before,doing things I never have done before.I am more happy than I have been,not as depressed as I have been.I am not even seeing anyone to talk to,not saying its not a bad thing,its not.Its a good thing,a good thing to talk to someone.I am only on one depresion pill and its helping me alot.My work is making me grow.They want me to become full time,not sure about that yet.Thinking on that one.I am learning how to bake,they need a 4:00 person to bake.I would love that,than I would get off early and do my thing.Let me tell you something,I have lost so much weight,I am so proud of myself,everyone just asks me,how are you doing it,I am not even trying,just stayng away from the junk food and not drinking alot of sodas,ok,well,trying to cut back.LOL.People who I have work with that came back,they is just so susprised,they are like,girl,you was a size 18 and wearing a size 10 and 12.I feel good,feels good on my knees.I am proud of myself,I know I said that before.LOL.There are stll some things I would like to accomplish and will in time.But I have come along way baby.Standing on my own two feet and not afarid to say anything.I have even changed my room around and it looks good,its a big change for me.So,all in all,I am happy,I have my days,but,i am happy.I have relized so much in my life,trying to be happy,letting go of the past,letting go of things I dont need in my life.I need good things,good people,people who make me smile,laugh,have a good time.You know,I do wish things were diffrent,but there not and probllay never will  be.But its for the better.Because,I am a strong person.Dont get me worng,there are days I would love to stay in bed and sleep all day,have a good cry,but not to often.



 

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10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hope things seem better.  Enjoy your evening.
Missie

Anonymous said...

Hon,your family is NO DIFFERENT than anyone elses.We all go through stuff.So,don't feel all alone in that.............
I have shit thrown at me all the time-I just ain't putting it down...guess I grit my teeth and bear it....... I really know  where you're coming from..and it's a darn shame those around you won't let  go of it and let you move on peacefully..
tell them to get-a-life-
that you have moved past it all and if someone can't get over it-that's THEIR problem not yours.............
now I'll go soak my head in hot oil for sticking my big mouth in ...............

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear how things are going.  I just had a conversation with my sister today.  She has been horribly hurt at work over something.  She was so angry and hurt.  I recommended she forgive them.  Not because they deserve it, but because she deserves it.  Anger will turn into bitterness, and bitterness will literally make you ill.  It will tear your body down.  My father is living proof of what anger and bitterness has done to his life.  It is literally eating him away from the inside out.  It is a terrible thing to see.  I hope you will find a way to forgive these people of what they have done, not because they deserve it - but because you do!  You deserve to be happy!  God Bless!

Anonymous said...

Amanda dear, congrats on the weight-loss and in learning to let go of some things!  You can forgive without allowing a person to remain an intimate friend --- for protecting yourself this is sometimes necessary.  And it's OK to do that.
(((((((hugs))))))))))
loving you
karyl

Anonymous said...

It took me 3 weeks to get my computer back from Best Buy. I was really upset because they let mine sit a couple of weeks before mailing it back. I am sorry that you are upset. It seems like family can hurt us much more than others. All of us seem to say things more easy to family than friends. I am sure that he loves you.  So sorry you got your feelings hurt. You are in my prayers that you can just let go of the hurt. You don't have to like what others do, and you don't have to be close friends with them. I think you are doing wonderful. I can see a big difference in your entries. Just don't worry about them and love yourself! Let them be unhappy instead of you!!!!  You are in my prayers, Janie

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the weight loss  keep up the good work. Hoping you have a wonderful day tomorrow. Enjoy your night.

Anonymous said...

i hope ur puter gets fixed soon. *hugs*

Anonymous said...

I am so very proud of you girl!!! Yes, you have changed...you're standing up for yourself! Thats great! :o) I agree with you...keep the past in the past! Many hugs to you!
Lisa

Anonymous said...

u mean link to journals or home addresses?

Anonymous said...

I do hope your computer is back up and running soon...nothing more frustating.  Hope the getting to work issues are resolved.  Gary has been great getting you there...and yes, family should work together and help each other.  Hugs and love...enjoy your weekend.
Joyce