It feels good to vent.LOL.

Hi peeps,whats up?

Nothing much here,so much I want to say,just dont know were to start.But first let me tell you,uggggggg,I was sick as a dog today when I got home from my bday dinner from Outback.I dont think Outback made me sick,it was that time of month,but,let me just tell,you,I felt sick,I threw up and been in the bathroom.I dont want to eat anything.Good thing I am off tommrow.If they call me and ask me to work,I will say ummmmmm no!!!!!!!!!!LOL.

 

Before I start talking about some fuming stuff,let me just tell you,my Boss is a really nice Boss,I like Her alot and I hope She doesnt leave,She is fair and She knows whats going on,if you know what I mean.She actullay sees that I am a good worker.I think my old Boss Eva might have talked to Her,not sure thoe.Anyways.I want to start talking about some things and I just dont know how.But,I will just start.

I just dont get it,people in our own family,Brothers and SIsters,well,this time,I am talking about my Brother and if they read this or someone reads this and tells someone else,so be it.This is my journal and its about time I get some feelings that I need to let out.He is my Brother,I love Him,I wont get into all the details.Ok,I think my Mom called Him or He called Her,not sure,but,they was talking and my Brother asked if He got the message that my nephew was graduating,not even kindergarting.I know its special and everything,but,let me tell you something,when have they EVER I MEAN EVER BEEN THERE FOR THIS FAMILY?Ask me that?The Graduating is on Wed nights,church night,and they would like Mom to go,they never call,they never come to visit,only if they want something.He gets mad because it is church night.He tells my Mom that the church is a cult.What a joke.He is just mad,He is just mad at this family,I honestly dont know why.Yeah,I am fuming mad,mad about alot of things.I love Him,dont get me worng.

Things have changed when He got married,but thats another story.He doesnt resecpt my Mother,He thinks we are never there for Him,but what about Him?He is never there for us.I cant belive I am actullay going to say this,but,you know,in a way,I dont think I could ever count on Him being there for me if I ever needed Him.sad to say,yes.I know someone reads my journal and tells someone else,gets me into trouble.Well,you know what,I dont care anymore.I been in so much trouble with the family,it doesnt even matter anymore.It doesnt matter what they think of me.I am this bad,bad,witch of a person,who only thinks of themselfs.But let me tell you something,He is my Brother,familys come first before anyone else!!!!!!Family stands by family,no matter.Thats how it should be.I am crying inside because know one knows how I am feeling.Missing the Brother I once knew.I know I am not perfect,I never tended to be.I made mistakes.

I wish things were diffrent,I wish this family,this whole family of ours,would be a family,togetherness,isnt that what famils is all about?I am getting ahead of myself.You know what I would like?I would like for this family to be a family,yeah,we all have our problems,but cant we just set aside all that stuff and be a family?A family who cares,once in a while,give a call,reach out to one another.I know I may have not tryed my best and done my part.But I love my family,my Brother,I love you,I love my Sister N law,I love my neices and nephews.It just makes me angry.It hurts.I just dont get it.I may have hurt you and I am sorry for all the hurt and pain I have cause,but,I have been hurt to and you dont know.Sometimes I would just love to pick the phone up and say hey,not by an email.

I know there has been alot of hurt,but,I think its time that we have to let some of this hurt go.I dont know what else to say,is that I am sorry for everything and anything that I have done.But I want you to know,I love you all so much,I am not just saying this to say this,I am saying it because I want to say it.Its been along time comming.I want my Sister N law to know that I love you and have always loved you.I guess thats all I have to say for now.But before I go,let me just tell you,that I have been doing laundry up to my ears.LOL.I cant belive I had so much laundry.UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG.LOL.I hope you all have a nice weekend.Be safe and kool out there.Peaceout.One more thing.I think the 7th Heaven graffics is perfect for this entry.LOL.