Today is a good day.

Good moring all,

I hope you all is having a good one.I am doing good here.I am feeling pretty good.Even thoe its hard feeling depressed,which I am trying hard not to do.I dont want to feel depressed.I want to feel good.I woke up feeling good,so,I am going to have a good day.There are a few things I need to do today.I go see my Shrink tommrow for the first time.So,tonight I want to sit down and write what I would like to say.Ok,maybe you all can answer my question,I need to go get a copy of my Xrays,my Pain Doctor wants to see them and my Reg Doc wants to see them also.But,do I need something from my Reg Doc to get a copy?Because I dont have anything,so,I am just going to go right in there and get them?Maybe I will call my Reg Doc and see if I need anything to get my Xrays.So much to do today.I have 2 apps this week.Actullay one tommrow and one on Wed.And maybe one Thursday.LOL.

I am actullay thinking of having my friend over this Friday,was thinking of having Her tonight,but,to much is going on,plus my Mom is babysitting today and through this evening.So,I will wait till Friday.So,I can actullay say this medicine I am on is working.Its helping me alot.Its helping me to sleep to.Man,I take it at 6 and by 7:30,I am out.LOL.So if I  need to do anything,I need to do it before 8 at night.LOL.I think I am going to call my Doc at 11.He has werid hours.Ok,guys forget about answering that question,I dont need anything,if the DOc needs it,they will just call my Reg Doc.So,thats out of the way.

I do,I do appreciate you all,I thak you all for being in my life.I have had a ahrd road to travel and still have a hard road to travel,but,I dont want to think negative anymore,I hate it and it makes me feel bad.I am glad I will be seeing someone to talk to tommrow.I have so  much to say.Anyways,I need to get off of here and get some stuff done.I hope you all have a nice day.Be safe and warm out there.Peaceout.

Its me again.

 

Its me again,first of all I want to thank Lisa from http://journals.aol.com/lisa41076/LisasPlaceofthoughtsandramblings/ for sending me a thinking of you card,that was sweet,it made me smile and I really needed that.I love getting mail.Right now,I could use alot of encourgment.I just talked to my Dad and told Him,I needed to do something about work,if I am not going back,I need to let work know,dont want them to keep thinking I am comming back.Dad asked me,do you think you could go back?I thought I could,but,this moring,I walked down the stairs on my butt.So,I dont think I am ready to go back and being tottlay honest,I dont want to go back.I do like getting out and about and being with people,than again,I dont like dealing with the hassel.I told Dad that if I am not going back,I need to get on Disability,I need my health insurance,I need my shots for my Arthitis.What do you all think I should do?Do you all think I am ready to go back to work part time?Thats all I been doing is part time,even thoe they keep me past  hours.Dad did say last night,He doesnt want me going back,He doesnt think I can hadel the work that I do,with being on my feet all day on thoes hard floors.So,I am ready to put in my 2 weeks notice.But,I am going to wait.I didnt think this day would come.I thought I would be working for a long time.I think my body is telling me,its time to rest.And I also thought of alot of things I can do with me not working.I think maybe I would feel alot better,not having to worry about work.Anyways,I guess thats about it.I am going to get off of here and get a few things done.Have a nice day all.Be safe and warm out there.Peaceout.

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_2

Worried.

Good moring all,

I hope you all had a good night.I slept good,but,I woke up with worrying about work.But before I start talking about work,I want to ask you all,can you all get into my Private Joural when you go into the People section and you see Journals being updated?I was just wondering about that.Thanks a bunch.Now onto work.I am really worred about wanting to knw whats goig to happed about work.I asked my Dad last night about talkig to the orthopedic again,making an app to see about Surgey.He said He didnt know.He said it would be the last resot.Than I said,well,what I am I going to do about work?He asked me if I wanted to go back,I said,I do,than again I dont,Than He said nothing.Than I told Mom,She asked Dad,so,I dont know whats going to happend.I think that I could go back to work,I feel I am somewhat strong,but than again I dont know.If I did go back to work,I would go back to work for,4 hours.Thats it.Thats all I could probllay handel.So,now I am confused and dont know what to doI know one thing,I am about to fall alseep.Which after I do this Entry,I am going back to sleep.

Getting off the subject,one good thing happend,I got a sick leave check yesterday.I am so happy about that.Almost 9 hundred dollors.I am already putting a hole in my pocket.LOL.But,I need to put some mone in the bank and pay off some Dr bills.My sick leave check was also back pay that I didnt get.So,I am wondering I will get a check,every week,or once a month.But,I am glad I got it.I want to thank you all for beig s caring.My checks that are comming in,will help alot with the Sisney Cruise that I am going to in Sept.I never been on a Cruise before.I will be going with my Mom,Sister,Her Husband and the kids.The kids like having us come along,they say its more fun that way.LOL.I am looking forward to it.I need a vaction now.Mom is paying for my Plane ticket for my Bday and Gary is going to  help me with the rest.My neice says She is going to be sleeping with Mom and I.LOL.Because we can order room service all night long.LOL.So,that is a good thing.I wish it was now.Gary and I will also be going away in Sept to the Beach.We always do that.So,i have a few things to look forward to.

With all that said,I am now going to go back to sleep.But tell me all,do I have something to worry about?Or should I just pray about it,which I am doing,but,I havent been very faithful to God at all.Will He still listen,even if I am not that faihful?I just wish I knew what to do about all of this,about work.Because I will need to do something soon.Just dont know what.Anyways,I need to go back to sleep.I will be back later.I hope you all have a good day today.Be safe and warm out there.Peaceout.

Todays Happenings.

Moonlighting use to be one of my all time favorite tv shows.Do any of you remember it?

Good moring all,

I hope everyone is having a good weekend.I am feeling better than I was yesterday.I have so much on my mind.In a way,I miss going to work,because of the money and I like getting out and not being home all the time.But than again,I like staying home,so I wouldnt have to deal with the hassel of people at woek.It just seems like everything is still going so slow for me.Still trying to get rid of my Porises so I can go back to my Orthopedic and talk about surgey.I just wish things would move a little faster.I am also worrying about paying my Dr bills.I havent gotton payed yet from my work,only one check from being on sick leave.What else is new?That is worrying me alot.Which I am trying to work out.I hope I get a check comming soon.

Yes,I still want a pain killer,bu,as I said before,I am glad I dont have them.I cant take the ones I have now,the one you stick under your toung and it melts.It makes me sick.I may try and take it today.But I can honestly say,the pills for my depression is working,its helping me to sleep better at night.I am so glad for that.I m ean,I know I still worry about things,but,it is a little better.I guess if you keep on worrying,its not going to get any better.And I know I have to push myself a little harder,if I want things in life.But,actullay,I am ok with my life,I really dont want much.I used to think there is more out there and maybe there is.But,I try and not worry about that.I just want to live everyday,as,one day at a time.Anyways,I better get off of here and get cleaned up.Gary will be here in a little while.I am going out for a little while today.I hope you all have a good weekend.Be safe and warm out there.Peaceout.

 

My Happenings.

Good day all,

I hope everyone is having a good one.I am doing good here.How ever,I have been thinking about alot of things that need to be done.Seems like I have so many dr apps comming up.I need to get some kind of calander and write them down.I also need to pay some off,but,I havent gotton any pay from being on sick leave,well,just one check.I am hoping and praying I will get a check tommrow.If not,I will probllay have to start all over with this sick leave thing.Also,as you all know,I havent been writing in here very much,I been writting in my Private Journal.So if anyone wants the link,let me know.I feel like,things are still not moving the way I want them to.Like for the fact that I need to get this Surgey taken care of.Whats the deal?So I can get back to work.Let me tell you all,everyone thinks I already had the Surgey.LOL.Nope,not yet.When I went into seeing everyone at work,but,I was in my Wheel chair.

Well,I hope everyone at work,doesnt think I wont be comming back.Well,who knows.I still call the head Boss every Friday.So,I guess nothing else is going on.I mean,I still worry about alot of things.But what else is new?How do you stop from worying so much?I would give anything to get back to working.But,knowing my Dad will not let me go back,jst yet.Well,its going to be a lazy day here,I may change my room around.Someone feel my forhead.LOL.I will say this,the new med that I take to make me sleep at night,let me tell you all,it kicks butt.LOL.I have to make sure that if I need to take a bath before going to bed,to do it before I take my med and if I need to set my room down at night.If not,the med kicks in and I wont get it done.LOL.I sleep the whole night through.Which is a good thing.I dont even get up to go to the bathroom,maybe once.Anyways,I hope you all enjoyr your day.Be safe and warm out there.Peaceout.

ME.

Hi all,

I hope you all is having a good day.I am doing great here.Well,I am going to finally mentione to you all,that I have a Private Journal.If you would like to be added,let me know and I will send you a linkI dont like writting anything personal in here,because,there are eyes,that I dont want them to read.Has nothing to do with -land or my onlinefriends.But,I am also going to be careful on who wants to be added.Because,I feel if anyone wants to know how I am doing or what is up with me,than,they should cotact me,instead of reading my JournalAnyways,I am good here.It is reallynice outside.Have a nice day.Be safe and warm out there.Peaceout.

My Happienings.

Hi all,

I hope everyone is having a good day.I am doing alot better than I did yesterday.I was sick,Imean,I felt deadly sick.I helped get read for Easter Lunch,than,I just went to my Bed and slept.I am going to go see a diffrent Doctor today and show Her the Medicine and See what She thinks about it.I just couldnt take it.But I am feeling better.I am sitting here writting a 4 page letter.LOL.Its a long one.LOL.I cant wait to get in there and see Her.This si a good thing.

Getting off the subject,my Sister came up to my room yesterday,while,I was sleeping and gave me a cute Easter Stuff Anamial.I have sitting right besides me.We usllay get eachither something and I told Her I was sorry I didnt get Her anything.She said,its ok,I dont want you getting my anything.I said thank you and I loved Her.One thing about me and my Sister,we are close and we will alwys be there for eachother.She is the one that I will go to,if anything happend to my parents.But I know my parents will be living for a long time.LOL.Anyways,I am going to get ooff of here and get cleaned up.Oh yeah,before I go.I wanted to let you all know,I dont wrte much in this Journal.I will write from time to time.If anyone wants to know anything,please emal me.I do love you all.But I feel if some people want to know certian things about my life,how I m feeling,with my health,they should email me.This has nothing to do with my J-land friends or my oline friends.I lvoe you all.e safe and warm out there.Peaceout.

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!!!!!

                                                  

Hi all,

How is everyone doing?Good I hope.I am doing good here.I am still around,but,havent been Jourlaning much.I just wanted to come by and wish everyone a wonderful,Happy Easter.Dont pig out on to much choclate.LOL.

Enjoy your Day.

                                                                    

 

                                                                          

 

 

                                                                                                                         

 

                                      

                                                             

                                                                                               

Happy St. Patricks Day.

                                  

Good moring all,I am still taking a break,I think.LOL.I just wanted to come and wish you all a Happy St Patricks Day.I hope its a nice one.Is anyone Irish out there?I have Irish in me,along with German and Scottish.I hope you all have a nice Happy St Patricks Day.I am going to try and go back to sleep.Be safe and warm ou there.Peaceout.

Still taking a break.

Hi all

         I hope everyone is doing good.You all probllay think I am nuts.Well,I am.I jsut wanted to let you all know that I will be checking reading and checking alerts.I just wont be adding entrys for a while.Than again you never know about me.I feel I need to do some soul searching,what ever that is.I kinda feel right now,I am falling apart.But I know all of you are praying for me.I know I have alot who care for me.Just right now,I feel I need to work on my heart.How ever I will o that,I dont know.I am kinda feeling mad about myself with few things in my life.Which I cant seem to stop crying.I will be ok.I will be back.Like,I said,you never know abou me.I just want to say how greatful I am to have friends like J-land and my On line friends who mean the world to me.Sometimes I think you all care for me than some people do.I know I have my parents and my Brothers and SIster care for me.That is all I need and my Boyfriend.Am I making any sence?Anyways,I will be back,maybe this is just a short periode of time.But I do need to work on some things.How will I do that,I dont know.I will be thinking of you all.I just waant you to know,I will be reading and adding comments,just not adding Entrys for a while.How ever,if you do see me on line,I will be in the Webkinz world alot.So,if you have a pet,let me know and I will add you to my Friends list.Thank you all for being there for me.I do love you all.

Taking a break.

I think I am going to take a break right now.I feel like I dont want to be in J-land for now.Its not anyone its me.I will be thinking of you all.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPIES.

 

Hi all,

I hope everyone is having a nice night.I am good here.Dont ask me why,but,I have been feeling good for the last few days.Someone feel my forehead.I think I did an oppies.Well,I know I accidelty forgot to the put the cell phone holder in the package to send it back to Life watch,when the was checking on my heart.I have to call them tommrow to see how they want me to send it back.Oh and I cant find my cell phone charger.I hope I didnt accidently put it in the bag.that would be good.If I did,I hope they can send it back,bcause,I know I have to send the holder.What else is new.Its not like the sky is going to fall.LOL.

I am actullay tired,sitting here trying not to fall alseep.I thought I had alot to say,but,I guess I dont.LOL.I dont know why I have been in a good mood lately.But just today,I am finally relizing alot of things.I know its not easy and I dont make it that way for myself.I really want to be a stronger person,trying to belive in myself more,giving up on a few things.Not doing anything to fast.But I am just thinking.Well,I will write more later when I have more to say.I want to go back to work.I do and I dont.Anyways.Tata.

Today,today,today and today.....

Hi all,

I hope you all is having a good day.I am good here.Haning in there,trying not to think of anything negative,not easy.I been on my Laptop most of the say.I am Webinkz addicted.LOL.I be on that thing all day.I finally know how to get money to buy things for my animal and the one I am taking care of.Thinks Ne. :) It is nice out today.The sun shining.For a munite there I had to turn off the tv cause I thought I heard birds singing.LOL.But it was the Tv.Would of been nice thoe.All in al,its a pretty good day.What am I saying?LOL.I cant let me Neice and 2 nephews play on my Laptop when they are here on Sats,because the door that opens my Laptop it very loose,so,I have to becareful.They can only be on it,unless I am with them or Dad.But He has to be in the room.They are Webinkz addicted to.I need to get there addys so I can send them mail.Thats thing,is driving me nuts,I cant find out how you can add your Webkinz to your mailing list,in web site.LOL.So i guess its not much going on.I can dream about Webkinz land and I want more.LOL.But I cant find them in Target or Walmart.

Oh yeah,Gary told me my Co worker in my Dapartment got suspended today,they told Her to go home.She needs it,I am glad I wasnt there to see what was going on.How ever,I am sure they could probllay use me now.But Mom and Dad say no,you cant go back to work just yet.I know,but,I am going stir crazy being in this house.I know I cant go back to work,because I can feel it in my knees,my knee caps,they hurt,not alot,only when I am doing something,like vacuming and moping.But I know my Co worker,I bet She was mad,because,Gary had to give a statment saying what He heard.He works right were He can hear everything that goes on.Funny how I pick a boyfriend who works in the same stoor and works right by me.He works in the Produce dapartment.But She doesnt know who got Her in trouble.Gary didnt want to do it.But He had to.When I call the stoor tommrow,I am going to try and call Chuck by His last name.LOL.I am waiting now for Gary to come and drop off my medicine,which He payed and all came to 50 dollors and He is bringing me some Taco Bell.Such a good guy.I am spoiled,I know.I hope you all enjoy your day,it is nice outside.Be safe and warm out there.Peaceout.

Does anyone out there live Webinkz land?

Does anyone out there live in Webinkz land?I need help.LOL.I know,its dumb,but it is so much fun playing in the Webinkz.I also would like to have some Webinkz friends.If  anyone out there has a pet and would to be friends with Abagail the Duck,let me know.I am trying to find ways to get more money so I can buy more stuff for my pets Bedroom.See,I told you,its stupid.LOL.But I love playing.When my Neice and Nephews come over Satins will get them to help me.But just in case anyone out there in J-land or not in J-land,who has one.Email me.My Webinkz addy is Manny2M.But you can also email me at my email addy if you want to help or play along.Peaceout.

Me.

Hi all,

I hope everyone is having a good day.All my Dr apps are done.My last app today was at the pain Managment Doc.It went good.I just have to call my Orthopedic and ask them if they can fax my Xrays and have my regular Doc send my records of everything thats been going on.I didnt know they wanted to know all that stuff.He wants to know all the medicine I have been on and that I am taking now.I can say I have pretty good co pay for all the Doctors I am going to.I am glad for that,because when I am in the office I always ask them if I own them anything.I dont for the first visit.When He was touching my stomach,it kinda hurt right in the middle and felt warm.He said if it doesnt go away that I need to tell my Regular Doc.Anyways,I am tired and want to try and get some sleep.I hope you all have a good night.Be safe and warm out there.Peaceout.

Dont min me,I am feeling a little loopy.LOL.

 

Ok,

Hi all,I hope everyone is having a good night.I am doing good,even thoe,right now,I am feeling really loopy and cant seem to keep my eyes open.I am so tired,I cant even think stright.I think its the new med the Doc put me on.Which is helping me alot.I am taking what is called seroquel,He gave me a package.I start out with 50Mg,tommrow I take 100 Mgs and on Thursday I take 300Mgs.I am telling a big difence,it is making me relax.I so need that.Well see how its goes when I keep on taking them.Dont mind me if I seem a little loopy tonight. am tottlay out of it.LOL.I told my Mom they changed my Medicne.

I am going to try and cut this short so i can get some sleep.My last Dr app is tommrow.Thank goodness.I think first thing in the moring I am going to call and ask them if that is the right place were I go and if my app is there.I see the Pain Managment Doc.I was susposed to have some papers filled out,but,I lost them,so,I have to go early to fill them out.I hope that will be ok.My app is at 12:45,I am getting Dad to drop me off and gary pick me up.You think I should write down things to the Doctor how I am feeling?I dont know,I never been to one of thoes Doctors before.I just hoe they help.I dont have any Xrays,wonder if they will take some.So what do you think I should do?Wha should I parepare myself for?I think I will write down what they should know on how I feeling.I may do it in the moring,when I am not feeling loopy.Have a good night all.Be safe and warm out there.Peaceout.

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_2

My Day.

Good moring all,

I hope you all are havng a good one.Well,one Dr app dpwn and 2 more to go.LOL.I went to my Dermatolgy yesterday and I have 3 prescriptions to get filled.One is very costly,hope its not to much.I may have to take some mony out of the bank.Because I am not getting anything yet from work.Thats why I am going to see my Regular Doc today.Even thoe I lost the papers to show Him.I still have to tell Him.But I think He may have copys of them.I hope so.I need to tell Him,He needs to call my union and tell them hw many weeks I will be out,He only put,not sure at this time,but,they want to know,in weeks and I need to take care of this before next week.I already got one check from work from being on sick leave.So everything should be fine,once I get this all taken care of.I also need to talk to Him about a few things.

How do I tell Him,I have been feeling more depressed than ever,He will probllay tell me I need to talk to someone,which I am sure I do,but I am seeing way to many Drs right now and I really cant handel another co pay.I just feel things arent getting done fast enoguh.Its it going to be a long while before I can go back to work.I told my Dad last night,I dont see why I cant go back to work for at least a few hours during the day.But than,knowing me,I will probllay come home,after being there for one hour.He needs to know how I feel,without sending me to another Dr.Hes a good Doc and I like Him and I like the secatarys there to.I dont think the Lexapro20mg is helping.I dont seem to be coping good during the day.Dont know which is worse,I think the day time is more worse.I dont feel like I have any enegry.

So why cant things go faster for me?Why cant I go back to work?Why am I feeling so down and depressed?I cant seem to lift myself up.Its like I hurt all over.tommrow I go see the Pain Managment Doc.Dad has to take me to that one.I'll tell you,sometimes I just cant stand life,but,I am here for a reason,I just dont know what that is.arent we all here for a reason?Is that why were all here?I dont know.Anyways,I am going to get off of here,get cleaned up and do a few things.Oh yeah,I stil have the stamps 41,are they still good to use?I need to sed some mail out.But I also need to go to the post office.Well,I hope you all have a nice day.Be safe and warm out there.Peaceout.

I am tired and about to fal alseep.

Hi guys,

I hoe you all is having a good evening.I am doing ok.I am sorry for mistaking the worng time change for you guys.I hope I didnt mess anyone up.LOL.I really I didnt.I am really tired and for a munite there,I thought I was going to get really sick.I think I just starting to Pms.LOL.Oh yeah,befre I forget,do you all think I shoul tell the Dermatalgy Doctor tommrow about a knot I have in my head?I didnt think it was really important.But its been there for a while now.I think I should tell Him.

Well,I am tired and about to fall alseep.I am getting kinda dizy to.So I think I am going to go to sleep.I may play on webkinz for a little bit and see how my Abagail the Duck is doing.LOL.Have a god night all.Be safe andwarrm out there.Peace.